Why….this sly little cheat…
I don’t know how Megan Fox’s ass managed to squeeze away from the rope I tied her to in my bed but somehow between my short trips to the bathroom and to the pharmacy to get Viagra, she escaped and ran away to Hawaii to get married to Brian Austin Green.
“They had a fairly large wedding, but there were clearly more security people than guests!” the insider tells Star. “They had so many security people that they had to call in local security because the hotel security alone wouldn’t do. It was very hush hush. Everyone was sworn to secrecy.”
The location of the wedding — which took place Thursday or Friday — was the Four Seasons Hualalai at Historic Ka’upulehu on the big island of Hawaii. The hotel has many amenities like a golf course and a spa. The hotel is known for throwing big, A-list weddings.
“The place is perfect for a Hollywood wedding,” says the source. “It’s very romantic and scenic. Megan and Brian had already been there for a few days. It seemed like a spur of the moment thing. I don’t think it had been planned long.”
Fine, you can have her Green. Enjoy the endless supply of handjobs from a wonky thumb! I put up with that, woman!