I’m really starting to think Lindsay Lohan has some kind of voodoo powers like the kind where you hypnotize someone to think the way you want them to think, because even cops lose their wits or common sense when Lindsay Lohan’s ass is around.
..the cop who took custody of the cocaine mistook it for a breath mint and threw it in the trash. Pretty incredible, but according to the Santa Monica Police report — obtained by TMZ — the officer “discovered a folded Clinique sun care card with an unknown substance caked on to the surface of the card in Lohan’s right rear pocket.”
The report goes on: “Some of the white substance fell to the floor. I used my foot to see what had fell but thought nothing of it. I did not recognize the substance attached to the card and initially thought the substance was a wet crushed breath mint.”
And now it gets good: “I put the card into the jail trash can next to the booking windows. I was looking at the floor and began to recognize the substance as resembling powder cocaine. I then recovered the card from the trash.”
The cop says the coke was in the trash for about 2 minutes. He put the card in an evidence envelope, then scooped up the coke that had fallen to the floor and placed it in a separate evidence envelope.
In short — EVIDENCE CONTAMINATION!!
Well holy shit! It all makes sense to me now. Why didn’t I realize it…Lindsay Lohan could be our country’s special weapon to win the war from Iraq! Quick! Somebody put her in a box and deploy her to Iraq along with a no return policy slip.