Now this is the news of the century we have all been waiting for. At first I thought well, given the past special treatment California Legal system has given to Lindsay Lohan, they’re probably going to hand her another ‘free fuck ups for another week’ coupon but whaddya know…there is justice! Because Judge Marsha along with the rest of the world has had enough of this cunty trainwreck’s antics, Lindsay Lohan’s ass is going to jail for 90 days!
Judge Marsha Revel sentenced LiLo after an incredulous prosecutor, Danette Meyers, told the judge that Lohan has been thumbing her nose at the court. The evidence was loud and clear today — Lindsay violated probation by failing to attend her alcohol ed classes based on the schedule set by the judge. There were lots of excuses, but ultimately they didn’t fly.
The judge said there was a pattern of violations since Lindsay was placed on probation in 2007 following her plea bargain in her DUI case. Lindsay broke down as she addressed the court, telling the judge, “I did the best I could.
This shit right here is the feel-good movie of the year and incidentally, Lindsay Lohan’s best onscreen performance. EVER.
Somebody print a pic of Judge Marsha and send it to DC Comics and Warner Bros and tell them to start filming ‘coz they are looking at this century’s Wonder Woman. Aw man…the last time I remembered being this excited was the time I was raped by a group of drunk circus midgets in an amusement park photobooth. Okay okay, maybe the second.