Heidi Montag’s tits are ruining her life
Date Posted: August 26, 2010 - 1:11 am by: Paris

Wank all you can over Heidi Montag’s tits because those puppies already have a deadline. Human Blow-Up Doll is on the cover of Life &Style and has even managed to take out a weiner from her mouth to talk about a few things about everything fake, i.e. her whole fuckin’ life! She said in the interview that she had no idea her naked bits were being recorded when she and Spencer Twat were having fuck times, adding ‘I’m mortified at the thought that people could be looking at me naked before I had the surgery.’

Proceeding to confess about fakeness, she said that she was desperate to go back to her old self, the one who hasn’t been raped by a scalpel on a surgeon’s table, and to make her monster tits a little smaller, since painkillers aren’t doing shit. Heidi also told Life & Style that she can’t do normal activities saying, “I’m obsessed with fitness but it’s impossible to work out with these boobs. It’s heartbreaking. I can’t live an everyday life.” Well like practically everything that’s comin’ out of her mouth, I think this one’s bullshit. Deuxma has bigger power jugs than her and that bitch can take three wieners between her tits while doing sommersaults. ‘Nuff said. Now about that sextape…

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