Snooki will be doing porn
Date Posted: October 5, 2010 - 2:54 am by: Paris

Geezus calm the freak down and back away from the ledge carefully! No need to kill yourself, it’s not what you think man. Yeah it’s true Snooki will be doing a gig in the porn industry, but not in the position that will make our retinas bleed. Apparently, some porn company named FleshDrive wants the Jersey Shore Oompa Loompa be the their celebrity endorser, and stressed out that she is no way to strip and let her naked monstrosity out for the sake of porn. Via YNOT:

“Our company image is that we pack a big punch in a little package,” Vice President of Sales Michael Gruosso wrote in the letter. “Who better to endorse our product than the woman who does exactly that? We know that Snooki makes a big impression wherever she goes, and that is why her tiny figure and incredible attitude will fit perfectly within the FleshDrive world. By merging Snooki with the FleshDrive, we know Snooki will make a great amount of money by doing very little.”

You know you’re nature’s epic fail when you’re not even fit for midget porn. Sadly for her, 99% of these horny bastards are sober when watching porn.

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