Michael Lohan almost got killed. ALMOST.
Date Posted: October 25, 2010 - 1:05 am by: Paris

Well this is convenient for all of us. Lindsay Lohan’s douchebag dad Michael Lohan is farting out that he was attacked just outside his home in Santa Monica, CA an hour after he received a threatening phone call. He said he went out to buy some cigarettes when the attack took place. TMX has more of this shit:

Sources tell us … Mike explained to police when he went to open his car door, he was jumped from behind. We’re told the suspect, whom Michael says is in his 50s or 60s, began choking him and had some kind of sharp object which he used to slice Michael’s neck. Michael says the knife penetrated his skin and caused substantial bleeding.

Asked about the possible reason why the attacker did that, the fart bag said he thinks it has something to do with his plan to show up at Lindsay’s court hearing and the suspect didn’t want him there. I want to ride along with this fucker’s fuckery but I just can’t today, especially after hearing Lindsay Lohan’s ass dodged jail again. This family is a bunch of circus freak slash attention whores. I bet Michael L just accidentally cut his neck shaving this morning and while looking at the mirror, thought ‘Ofcourse! Why didn’t I think about this?’ and collaborated this fake assault story. But in the .03949 chance that I’m wrong, I hope they charge the assailant for not finishing this a-hole off.

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