If the tapes alone hasn’t convinced you yet that Mel Gibson is fuckin’ insane and finally hit rock bottom, then maybe this will. InTouch Weekly is saying that Mel Gibson apparently has a go-to buddy when his psychiatrist is on another psychiatrist’s couch getting his own head checked and it’s none other than, wait for it, Britney Spears. Yes. THE Britney Spears. Sonofabitch.

InTouch Weekly reports:

You could call them Hollywood’s Odd Couple: Mel Gibson’s unlikely ally in his bitter legal battle with former girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva is troubled pop star Britney Spears! The “Toxic” singer, 28, has been telling pals that Mel, 54, has been pouring his heart out to her — confiding that he fears for his sanity and is convinced he’s destroyed his once-hot career. “Mel has been talking to her a lot,” a friend of the singer’s tells In Touch. “They speak on the phone all the time, usually late at night.”

Britney’s may seem like an unlikely shoulder for the Braveheart star to cry on, but the pop star’s pal says she is simply returning the favor to the actor, who went out of his way to help her when she went through her own breakdown. “Mel was one of the only people who reached out to help Britney when she was at her lowest point, and she believes that demonstrates what a loving and wonderful man he is,” says the friend. “She wants people to give him a second chance — just like he gave her one when everyone else turned away.”

The only rational explanation for this is if Britney Spears’ tits is more comfortable than Mel Gibson’s shrink’s couch. Other than that, I don’t even know what the fuck anymore. This makes me defy everything I’ve believed in life. Do babies come from storks?

When I first saw this pic I wondered, how the hell did my dog’s hairy asshole end up in the internet?? But then I realized this is a mugshot of the back of Britney Spears’ head! Like holy shit…I understand she loves to eat nonstop but can somebody tell her to calm the fuck down and explain to her that her hair is not a bucket of KFC??

Good Lawd…this puke-worthy monstrosity  shouldn’t be allowed to be viewed by the general public. The hobo across the street from the office even looks better than her, and she just rolled out of her box. I’m not even kidding.

Remember Britney Spears‘ ex-bodyguard Fernando? The dude who claims he was sexually harassed by the pop icon? Well he’s now back for more saying he witnessed her beating her two kids Jayden and Sean with a belt. The Sun will explain more of this fuckery, that sounds like fact.

The Sun reports:

It is understood that the 28-year-old star strongly denies the claims and insists she has never mistreated four-year-old SEAN PRESTON and JAYDEN JAMES, three. But Flores, 29, has told the Los Angeles Department of Children and Family Services he feels Britney is too unstable to be left in charge of her sons. He fears her behaviour could scar for life the youngsters – who split their time between Toxic singer Britney’s Beverly Hills mansion and dad KEVIN FEDERLINE’s home.

A source said: “Britney doesn’t mean to be a bad mum. But Flores feels she has so many issues she can’t be trusted around her boys. He claims the first really shocking incident was when she came marching into the pool house at her mansion and demanded his belt. He handed it over but then followed her into the main house and claims he witnessed the alleged incident.”

Much as I think Fernando’s just clearly looking for a payday, let’s not overlook the fact that it’s Britney Cuckoo Spears we’re talking about here. The same person who shaved her head and doesn’t know what an underwear is?  Yeah…’nuff said.

Looks like we might be hearing Britney Spears screaming her song Womanizer in the shower because it turns out that her boyfriend might be cheating on her, and since day one.

Star reports:

Womanizer Jason has been carrying on a long-term affair with a stunning brunette behind the singer’s back! The other woman is actress and author Jessica Steindorff who met Jason in 2007, just before she briefly took a job as his personal assistant at top Los Angeles talent agency William Morris.

“Jason has been cheating on Britney with Jessica from the beginning of their relationship,” a close friend of Jessica’s reveals to Star. “He has deceived Britney with his lies for too long, and somebody needs to tell her the truth, even if it hurts.”

Wait a minute, isn’t it just last week that the rumors about her sexual harassing her bodyguard Fernando got out? Well, the way I look at it, I think she’s always been bumping privates with Fernando and Jason is just a cover-up since Daddy Spears doesn’t approve of him dating a bodyguard. My oh my…you can see more drama in this nutcase’s life than Casa Blanca. Is somebody buying the rights to Britney Spears’ life to be made as a movie already?

Just when I thought Cheetos Girl couldn’t get any crazier…

Being Britney’s bodyguard is probably one of the most chaotic jobs on earth. Not only do you have to protect her from the paparazzis and keep her pussay from hangin’ out, you also have to live with her emotional breakdowns everyday. And if she happens to have an eye for your nads, she will sexually harass you without shame. I’m not even kidding dude. Just ask her ex-bodyguard *in deep Spanish accent* Fernando…

The Sun reports:

Fernando Flores, 29, stormed out after allegedly facing a series of bizarre come-ons. He told pals Britney, 28, often paraded naked in front of him and beckoned him into her bedroom. He is now considering suing her.

“All her guards knew they could be removed if they looked at her the wrong way. Unfortunately for Fernando, she took a liking to him, so he was under more pressure than most. He wanted to be a good security guard and look after her but the situation became unbearable.”

I don’t know about this but something in the milk ain’t clean. So basically, somewhere between the secret balcony meetings and the Grimace costume in the bedroom, Fernando fell out of love. Or was it after Britney went out to party pantiless and left him babysitting the kiddos while they watched Mr. Krabs telling Spongebob over and over how he loves money?

I don’t know this whole deal about the love-hate relationship Britney Spears has with her hair as much as her bra, but recently there was another round of war between Britney and her hair and where else could be the perfect fighting arena and an opera stage for her tantrums than Disneyland of all places–with her two little kiddos as her audience, ofcourse.

In Touch reports:

“She started out crying hysterically and refused to go out,” an insider shares.

“Jason and the boys were left sitting with the nanny all day. They never got to meet Mickey Mouse.”

That night, things went from bad to worse when Britney ordered scissors sent to her room and began cutting off her hair. The insider says: “When the cleaners came to the room, so much hair had been flushed down the toilet, it was blocked.”

I know this may sound really insensitive but the only solution I can see happening for this is if Britney Spears changes her hairstylist. That or continue not wearing a bra, that should really help us her.

Well, these two acted fast to denounce those break-up rumors. Britney Spears and her agent/boyfriend/ex-boyfriend (whatever), Jason Trawick, were seen together yesterday shopping. Although they were caught holding hands and sall, they sure don’t look like they were enjoying each other’s company. But yeah, maybe they aren’t really broken up after all.

The usually braless pop star joins the single bandwagon of Hollywood. Britney Spears called it quits with her boyfriend and agent Jason Trawick end of February. They were last seen together in public on Valentines Day, but  sources say that their relationship has gone downhill ever since.

“They were fighting a lot and have not been getting along,” the source says.

Okay, I guess the break-up isn’t that much of a big deal for Brit as she hasn’t shown signs of craziness yet. But then again, let’s wait for it.

Upcoming singer Ke$ha has something to say about Britney Spears and her lip-syncing prowess, and it’s not very good. The singer said:

“I don’t think that’s fair at all for people who are going to see the show,” she tells the Scottish Daily Record. “I think if you are going to be a singer, you should sing. If you are going to be a dancer, you should dance. If you are going to do a combination of the two, you should make it very clear when you are singing and very clear when you are dancing… It’s treating people as if they are too stupid to realize you are not actually singing.”

I’m sure Britney wouldn’t give a shit about whatever you say about her, Ke$ha. Honey, it’s actually Brit’s lip-syncing that got her her fame, so it’s like stating the obvious actually. Plus, people don’t really care.

Britney Spears‘ newest ad campaign for Candies is up, and boy, is she looking hot! Now I’m not sure whether these set of sexy pics are taken way back or Candies’ photoshop guy really is very talented, because the last time I saw a pic of Britney she doesn’t look, in any way, like this at all.