Okay I have to say when I wished for some Jessica Alba leaked topless pics, I wasn’t expecting said wish would come in this state, since I’m not really a fan of lactating bitches but this is Jessica fucking Alba so I’ll take what I can get.
Apparently, some sources are saying these leaked naked pics were taken when she was in the first trimester of her pregnancy that she sent to husband Cash Warren. Wow, can you imagine waking up to a woman this hot, even with a belly bump? Cash, buddy, I salute you. And by salute, I meant jacking off over your wife.
The Latina hotness known as Jessica Alba sat her ass down to have an interview with GQ where she tells the mag that she’s not a fan of having her body touched by a scalpel and would rather let her tits wrinkle and sag. However, she does admit in thinking about getting a nose job ‘coz it’s the in thing these days. Via GQ UK:
“I hate the idea of trying to freeze time. I believe in growing old as nature intended and, if the movie roles dry up as a result, then so be it. Though I was talking to my girlfriend about this and I was beginning to think I need a nose job to be like everyone else. It’s nuts how many nose jobs are going on here (Hollywood) at the moment.”
Well listen, if she really wants to be like everyone else she doesn’t need to do shit with her nose. All she needs is a camera, a bed, my weiner and let the camera star rolling for a damn sex tape!
For some reason, Jessica Alba reminds me of Megan Fox. Not because they’re both ridiculously hot, but because like Megan’s mouth, hers has shit comin out of it too. In a recent interview with British GQ, the hot Latina MILF claims she may look perfect but she really isn’t, infact she’s far from it. So far that her body is a disgusting piece of cellulite worse than Beth Ditto’s. Via Hollyscoop:
“My breasts are saggy, I’ve got cellulite, my hips are bigger… every actress out there is more beautiful than me,” she told British GQ.
“I’ve never been comfortable showing my body off. I used to have anxiety attacks before shoots. I’ll never do a nude scene. I can act sexy and wear sexy clothes but can’t go naked.”
Okay Okay we get it now. You’re a porker! I was even shocked how they managed to put your cellulitey body in the pictures! Now if you can just shut it and show them those saggy titties!
How else can we celebrate memorial day than in the memory of Jessica Alba’s ass? I remember when she wasn’t married and knocked-up, Jessica Alba was the hottest and baddest bitch on the planet. But now, all she is a big bowl of ‘meh’. It’s like a fuckin’ black hole sucked all the hotness out of her.
These ass candids are still a delight to see and savor it will it lasts ‘coz we can be sure Jessica Alba will be back in the boring as hell rock she’s been hiding under together with her career.
Jessica Alba lands a role in the upcoming installment of the Ben Stiller and Robert De Niro movie, Meet the Parents. In Little Fockers (the title of the movie), Jessica would play a “sexy pharmaceutical rep whose looks wreak havoc on males in the story.” And because of that, I expect to see the new mom in a bikini at least 80 % of her appearance in the movie. Can’t say this role is a comeback material, but it may pave the way to the return of the hotness Jessica Alba she once was.
Because she believes that “Blondes are more fun” and she knows she’s not fun at all (when did you ever see her smile??), new mom Jessica Alba had her hair color changed and is now a redhead. Guess she now got the service of Ashlee Simpson’s stylist, especially that he/she’s doing a great job with the Melrose Place star. And yes, I’m being sarcastic.
Because of this cool horror-themed photoshoot for DT Magazine, I can forgive Jessica Alba’s constant bitchface and incessant stupidity. Anyone who can channel the best horror movie actresses and pull them off brilliantly is a-okay in my book. My biggest complaint in this spread -they mis-labeled one of the scenes. Sure, the one where she’s on the ceiling kinda looks like the memorable sequence in The Exorcist, but to me it looks more like the Jo Beth Williams scene in Poltergeist. After all, Jessica isn’t covered in horrible scars and green vomit. Something tells me she was a real bitch not wanting to do that.
Usually svelte in body-hugging outfits, Jessica Alba attended the premiere of the indie Sugar really covered up, barely showing skin. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that she’s a mom now, and is even planning on baby number 2 as soon as possible. While I respect her attempts at trying to be maternal, that’s no excuse to deprive your adoring public of your hot body, killer legs, and awesome cleavage. Just ‘cuz your a mom doesn’t mean you have to look like one.
I thought I would never see the day Jessica Alba wearing slutty fishnet stockings for a hot and sexy photo shoot. Alright, I exaggerate. The fishnets aren’t all that slutty. And the shoot isn’t even close to being hot as most of us would want it to be. Certainly not like some of Jessica’s other photos like these. But all the same, these are pretty nice pics of Jessica from Zinc magazine’s January 2009 issue. Might as well check ‘em out gentlemen.
Jessica Alba has followed in the footsteps of Eva Mendes and Selma Hayek as calendar girls for Campari. The 2009 calendar features a svelte and sexy Jessica posing in the glamorous pictures which has become a trademark of past Campari calendars.
Jessica did a great job of getting back in shape after giving birth. She’s definitely back sporting her well-toned bikini body in the pictures. Well, she’s sending a message to all the insecure girls out there – if you have millions of dollars and if you knew someone who can work wonders with Photoshop, then you never have to worry about your body after giving birth.