Whip your weiner back in your pants because you won’t be seeing Rachel Uchitel’s big juicy ‘homewreckers’ in Playboy no more. Bitch got owned, and I mean that in the literal sense too. Apparently, she’s got this multi-million dollar settlement with Tiger Woods that restricts her to say shit about him in the interview. If one word about Tiger Wood’s pussy-loving ways come out of her big filthy mouth, she’s gonna lose the $10 million hush money.
So after thinking it over, and after a close friend of her who knows math explained to her that $10 million worth a shit ton than the $300k Playboy is offering, she quickly shut her legs close, pulled up her pants and kissed her Playboy dreams goodbye. Now ain’t life a bitch? Actually I don’t know who’s the bigger bitch between Tiger and Rachel. I kinda wanted to see this whore’s naked bits in Playboy.