Date Posted: May 31, 2010 - 3:14 am by: Paris
Categories: Tila Tequila

To the two of you who cares, last week Tila Tequila’s tits were reported to join Celebrity Rehab because the producers think it would make the show more interesting if they threw in a troll with big tits who loved munching on ecstasy. Yep, ecstasy. Color me fuckin’ surprised.

Radar reports:

Another source close to the star of A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila told RadarOnline.com that Tila liked to do Ecstacy with then-fiancée Casey Johnson during their short-lived relationship, and they often got high together.

“The night they first went public together on the red carpet, they were both high on E (ecstasy),” the source told RadarOnline.com.

“Casey only did drugs around Tila.” Ecstasy is a love drug that club kids have used since the 90s.

While there may be a 50-50 chance that Tila Tequila may recover from her ecstasy addiction, sadly there is nothing anyone can do about this vapid gremlin’s addiction for attention which is beyond terminal stage.

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Date Posted: May 31, 2010 - 3:03 am by: Paris
Categories: Paris Hilton

Really, bitch?

Wow. Paris Hilton’s wet dreams has finally come true ‘coz here she was surrounded by ‘seamen’ at an event last weekend. Ahhh…and the jokes continue to write themselves. I didn’t know the navy celebrate their own Herpes Awareness day but good to know they do.

Oh and is it just me or do you actually agree that Paris Hilton never looked more at home than in these shots?

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Date Posted: May 31, 2010 - 2:53 am by: Paris

She may be a walking love doll made of plastic but it’s good to know Heidi Montag actually has a brain that works at times because she has finally flew the coop. A rep for Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt confirmed that Twit and Twat are no longer living under the same roof.

TMZ reports:

Heidi’s rep tells TMZ, “Heidi is looking to move out due to all the fake bad press that Spencer controls. She’s tired of it and is looking for a place and wants to focus on her acting career.”
We’re told Heidi is looking for a new place in Malibu.

Awww how freakin’ sad. But they were soul mates! I bet Spencer would have a helluva time digging himself out of that big puddle of fame whoring desperation. Did I say desperation? I mean depression. Everybody knows Spencer without Heidi is like a douchebag without it’s nozzle.

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Date Posted: May 30, 2010 - 3:02 am by: Paris
Categories: Miley Cyrus

Because seventeen is the perfect age to buy very slutty lingerie, Miley Cyrus’ ass splurged three grand on lingerie alone.

Celebuzz reports:

“The Hannah Montana star, who lately seems to be working overtime to prove how utterly mature she is to everyone, recently spread some love and cash to the negligee-makers of the world by going on a $3,000 lingerie-shopping spree. And not just any lingerie–totally sexy lingerie: “The lingerie she bought was more Sex and the City than 17-year-old stuff.”

These nosy bitches really should take the stick out of their butts and stop being so prude. Give this kid a break for a sec, will ya? Atleast she’s wearing underwear! When Britney Spears was seventeen, she wasn’t even wearing any. Don’t expect her parents to ground her anytime soon because we all know Billy Ray Cyrus is the one who’s least bothered by this.

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Date Posted: May 29, 2010 - 8:51 pm by: Paris
Categories: Serena Williams

When you look at Common, you see this rapper as a tough and manly guy who wouldn’t take a shit from anyone. But I guess when your woman is manlier than you are, it kinda makes you re-asses the whole situation and take some time to deal is whatever the hell is wrong with your self-esteem that made you hook up with a manlier chick in the first place. Well, that’s what Common did just recently when he broke up with her 2-year girlfriend tennis star Serena Williams.

InTouchWeekly reports:

“They just grew apart,” said a friend of the musician’s. The duo made a last public appearance in April at the New York premiere of Date Night, but Common was acting single on the Tom Joyner Foundation Fantastic Voyage cruise while promoting the film Just Wright in mid-May. “He was a big hit with the ladies,” says a witness.

To all you ladies dying to get a piece of Common meat, you better hope Serena is over her hot piece. She will cut a bitch with her tennis racket or sit on you and suffocate you with her ginormous gorilla ass.

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Date Posted: May 29, 2010 - 3:06 am by: Paris
Categories: Lindsay Lohan

Yep, you got that right. Lindsay Lohan ditched her black hair and brought back the blonde locks last Monday. No more washed out nasty mop on her head. Now if she could just wash out the stupidity from her brain, that would be nice.

Radar reports:

The Mean Girls star – a natural redhead who was last seen leaving court Monday with her dark hair pulled back – emerged from the Andy LeCompte Salon salon in West Hollywood Tuesday with fuller, blonde locks.

As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Lohan, 23, has been ordered to wear a SCRAM alcohol-detecting bracelet and to undergo random drug testing after missing a mandatory probation hearing last week relating to a 2007 drink-driving case.

That’s cool, Lindsay Lohan dyed her hair blonde to match the color of her Scram bracelet. Now that everything looks good to go, slap that shit on this hoe asap!

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Date Posted: May 28, 2010 - 2:40 am by: Paris
Categories: Lindsay Lohan

There were rumors this month that our favorite Hollywood wreck, Lindsay Lohan, is going to star in a porn movie called Linda Lovelace. I had some doubts on wether or not this was for real ‘coz anyone who would cast Lindsay in a movie has a sick fetish for epic failure. However, this is a porn movie and like a moth to the flame and vice-versa, it pretty much makes sense. Well, the rumors have just been confirmed and the just-turned-blonde crackie is indeed going to star as Linda Lovelace in an indie film called Inferno.

The poster shows Lindsay’s freckled semi-naked body sitting on the bed while a bunch of guys behind her are unbuckling their belts. Since Linda Lovelace is an American porn star in the 70’s famous for her skills in deepthroating, this is a big ‘stretch’ for Lindsay. But considering she’s no stranger to these things, I’m sure she’ll pull this off without any cuts.

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Date Posted: May 28, 2010 - 2:31 am by: Paris
Categories: Justin Bieber

What is tiny, doesn’t grow facial hair, barely legal, looks like a lesbian and likes being a little douchebag by telling floor managers to fuck off? Yep…believe it or believe it, it’s “The Bieb”!

News.com.au reports:

THE sheen is coming off Canadian teenager Justin Bieber with revelations the star told a Sunrise floor manager “don’t ever f**king touch me again”. Sunrise co-host David “Kochie” Koch made the revelations on Sydney radio station Mix FM.

“We had him on and he was a thoroughly nice bloke, really decent guy,” Koch said. “Our floor manager was directing him to where he was about to perform and he turned around to Nick and said ‘don’t ever f**king touch me again’ and Nick went ‘What?’,” Koch told the Mike E and Carmela in the Mix breakfast show.

Woah, let’s take it from this tiny potty-mouth to show you that there is no minimum age for douchebaggery. Meanwhile, Pedobear is getting a hard-on by all this.

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Date Posted: May 28, 2010 - 2:21 am by: Paris
Categories: John Corbett

Since married male celebrities these days seem to think boinking as many vaginas as they can is the new sport, don’t count John Corbett in the cheating squad just yet. Jessica Parker’s male co-star in the movie Sex and the City as well as the tv series is claiming that he is the good guy onscreen and off the screen.

John Corbett’s interview on MSN’s Wonderwall:

On how men in Hollywood should learn to stay faithful: “They ought to stick with me. Let’s get together, drink a few whiskeys, and I’ll teach them how to mind the Johnson.” On his secret about how to ‘mind the Johnson’: “Don’t let the lizard out of the cage. If you just don’t let the lizard out of the cage, you’re going to be all right.”

While I appreciate John Corbett’s efforts in mauling the lizard when it tries to escape the dungeon, let’s be real here for a sec shall we? It’s been a while I have seen this dude in any movies with a chick other than Sarah Jessica Parker. I think any actor who doesn’t have a fetish for horses can agree that a dead branch may have more sex appeal than that broad.

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Date Posted: May 27, 2010 - 2:49 am by: Paris
Categories: Adrien Brody

Don’t expect to see Adrien Brody near any goat farms soon because the actor is apparently traumatized by one special goat he recently purchased. The actor said he wanted two female goats as pets but ended up with two male goats, one with a big wiener, he had no idea were raised in Brokeback mountain.

Toronto Sun reports:

And Brody quickly realized that one of the goats was gay – and the other was terrified.
He explains, “The more well-endowed goat took a liking to the other one and I swear it was traumatic. There was a lot of crying and goat noises and I felt incredibly guilty and I didn’t know what to do. I had homosexual goats.”
The actor admits the goat love got the better of him and he had to let his odd pets go.

Dayumm…that was pretty sick. I imagine it could be totally disturbing when you sleep in the middle of the night only to be awakened by two gay goats climaxing in unison. Well, now we all know who didn’t RSVP’d Adrien Brody for his dinner invitation last weekend.

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