Date Posted: December 6, 2010 - 2:06 am by: Paris
Categories: Britney Spears

For the Nth fucking time, Jason Trawick didn’t beat up Britney Spears’ ass ya’ll!! …or that’s what she claims. StarMagazine, the mag who’s releasing audio shit that proves Brit Brit was a battered gf at one point is still sticking to their story and the popstar isn’t too amused about it and wants the haters to kick her hillbilly ass! Via Us Weekly:

Britney Spears wants to make one thing clear: Jason Trawick never laid a hand on her. “Star Magazine, Radar Online, Jason Alexander and the rest of you liars, yawl can kiss my lily white southern Louisiana ass!” the singer, 29, tweeted Thursday. The biting statement comes on the heels of a Star report that alleges Spears reached out to ex Jason Alexander after Trawick, 38, allegedly “beat her.”

Wow StarMagazine is really shitting in on this one. But let’s wait for Gloria Alred to buttfuck this opportunity without lube. You can be sure she smelled the money from miles away!. Get ready for the upcoming fuckery fellas…

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Date Posted: December 2, 2010 - 12:50 am by: Paris
Categories: Britney Spears

The famous popstar Britney Spears has been together with her agent Jason Trawick for almost three years now and we never hear shit about her private life…until now. Reports are saying that Britney Spears’ ass got beaten up by Trawick a few months ago. She got abused ya’all! Via Star:

“Britney is in an abusive relationship,” the entertainer’s first husband says in a detailed interview with Star. “She told me her life had turned into a nightmare.” Childhood friends Britney and Alexander stayed in touch after their 55-hour marriage was annulled in 2004. But their casual texts, phone calls and emails took a dark turn when she recently confided that Trawick “hit her so hard it gave her a black eye,” Alexander says.

Now we all know abuse is an unfun thing and anyone doesn’t deserve to be abused no matter if they’re borderline psychotic and flashes their cooter but I’m calling b.s. in this one. We all know Trawick is dry-humping Brit Brit’s bank account and is only with her for the cash. He wouldn’t sucker punch his way out of the cash bin. For pete’s sake don’t hate on the guy who’s working hard for the moolah. It’s a two-way thing really since he seems to be more of a personal nanny to the kids than the boyfriend anyway.

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Date Posted: October 5, 2010 - 2:43 am by: Paris
Categories: Britney Spears

Here’s Britney Spears taking a stroll to who knows where and I would like to record this moment and be put in history that bitch finally got her hands on a bra! I guess this means she’s pretty much outgrew her crazy shit, which also means it might be the end of her conservatorship. Or not. Brit Brit is scheduled to meet with Judge Goetz to see if she’s legit to go live her daily life on her own. Via Radar:

“Britney’s court-appointed attorney, Sam Imgham was the only other person in chambers during the 35-minute meeting Judge Goetz also met with Britney’s father, Jamie separately, as well as with Brit’s therapist.”

It will be the judge’s decision if and when to end the conservatorship and while Judge Goetz is carefully considering all the facts, the source said the singer should expect the conservatorship to end in three months.”

While I have to commend Britney’s tits and nipples from going lie-low to prove she’s no longer a crazy exhibitionist who can take care of her kids without the supervision of her daddy, I doubt Judge Goetz will roll over and give her the thumbs up. Just look at this pic fellas, the evidence is on her neck. Clearly, someone fell asleep on the kids and left the marker cabinet open.

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Date Posted: July 24, 2010 - 7:07 am by: Paris
Categories: Britney Spears

If the tapes alone hasn’t convinced you yet that Mel Gibson is fuckin’ insane and finally hit rock bottom, then maybe this will. InTouch Weekly is saying that Mel Gibson apparently has a go-to buddy when his psychiatrist is on another psychiatrist’s couch getting his own head checked and it’s none other than, wait for it, Britney Spears. Yes. THE Britney Spears. Sonofabitch.

InTouch Weekly reports:

You could call them Hollywood’s Odd Couple: Mel Gibson’s unlikely ally in his bitter legal battle with former girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva is troubled pop star Britney Spears! The “Toxic” singer, 28, has been telling pals that Mel, 54, has been pouring his heart out to her — confiding that he fears for his sanity and is convinced he’s destroyed his once-hot career. “Mel has been talking to her a lot,” a friend of the singer’s tells In Touch. “They speak on the phone all the time, usually late at night.”

Britney’s may seem like an unlikely shoulder for the Braveheart star to cry on, but the pop star’s pal says she is simply returning the favor to the actor, who went out of his way to help her when she went through her own breakdown. “Mel was one of the only people who reached out to help Britney when she was at her lowest point, and she believes that demonstrates what a loving and wonderful man he is,” says the friend. “She wants people to give him a second chance — just like he gave her one when everyone else turned away.”

The only rational explanation for this is if Britney Spears’ tits is more comfortable than Mel Gibson’s shrink’s couch. Other than that, I don’t even know what the fuck anymore. This makes me defy everything I’ve believed in life. Do babies come from storks?

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Date Posted: July 22, 2010 - 2:08 am by: Paris
Categories: Britney Spears

When I first saw this pic I wondered, how the hell did my dog’s hairy asshole end up in the internet?? But then I realized this is a mugshot of the back of Britney Spears’ head! Like holy shit…I understand she loves to eat nonstop but can somebody tell her to calm the fuck down and explain to her that her hair is not a bucket of KFC??

Good Lawd…this puke-worthy monstrosity  shouldn’t be allowed to be viewed by the general public. The hobo across the street from the office even looks better than her, and she just rolled out of her box. I’m not even kidding.

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Date Posted: July 1, 2010 - 2:31 am by: Paris
Categories: Britney Spears

Remember Britney Spears‘ ex-bodyguard Fernando? The dude who claims he was sexually harassed by the pop icon? Well he’s now back for more saying he witnessed her beating her two kids Jayden and Sean with a belt. The Sun will explain more of this fuckery, that sounds like fact.

The Sun reports:

It is understood that the 28-year-old star strongly denies the claims and insists she has never mistreated four-year-old SEAN PRESTON and JAYDEN JAMES, three. But Flores, 29, has told the Los Angeles Department of Children and Family Services he feels Britney is too unstable to be left in charge of her sons. He fears her behaviour could scar for life the youngsters – who split their time between Toxic singer Britney’s Beverly Hills mansion and dad KEVIN FEDERLINE’s home.

A source said: “Britney doesn’t mean to be a bad mum. But Flores feels she has so many issues she can’t be trusted around her boys. He claims the first really shocking incident was when she came marching into the pool house at her mansion and demanded his belt. He handed it over but then followed her into the main house and claims he witnessed the alleged incident.”

Much as I think Fernando’s just clearly looking for a payday, let’s not overlook the fact that it’s Britney Cuckoo Spears we’re talking about here. The same person who shaved her head and doesn’t know what an underwear is?  Yeah…’nuff said.

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Date Posted: June 16, 2010 - 3:07 am by: Paris
Categories: Britney Spears

Looks like we might be hearing Britney Spears screaming her song Womanizer in the shower because it turns out that her boyfriend might be cheating on her, and since day one.

Star reports:

Womanizer Jason has been carrying on a long-term affair with a stunning brunette behind the singer’s back! The other woman is actress and author Jessica Steindorff who met Jason in 2007, just before she briefly took a job as his personal assistant at top Los Angeles talent agency William Morris.

“Jason has been cheating on Britney with Jessica from the beginning of their relationship,” a close friend of Jessica’s reveals to Star. “He has deceived Britney with his lies for too long, and somebody needs to tell her the truth, even if it hurts.”

Wait a minute, isn’t it just last week that the rumors about her sexual harassing her bodyguard Fernando got out? Well, the way I look at it, I think she’s always been bumping privates with Fernando and Jason is just a cover-up since Daddy Spears doesn’t approve of him dating a bodyguard. My oh my…you can see more drama in this nutcase’s life than Casa Blanca. Is somebody buying the rights to Britney Spears’ life to be made as a movie already?

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Date Posted: June 10, 2010 - 2:13 am by: Paris
Categories: Britney Spears

Just when I thought Cheetos Girl couldn’t get any crazier…

Being Britney’s bodyguard is probably one of the most chaotic jobs on earth. Not only do you have to protect her from the paparazzis and keep her pussay from hangin’ out, you also have to live with her emotional breakdowns everyday. And if she happens to have an eye for your nads, she will sexually harass you without shame. I’m not even kidding dude. Just ask her ex-bodyguard *in deep Spanish accent* Fernando…

The Sun reports:

Fernando Flores, 29, stormed out after allegedly facing a series of bizarre come-ons. He told pals Britney, 28, often paraded naked in front of him and beckoned him into her bedroom. He is now considering suing her.

A pal revealed yesterday: “She was always giving him the come on and he felt if he didn’t reciprocate he could lose his job. He finally handed in his notice last week and is considering legal action. Working for Britney is tough. She’s a nightmare to deal with and her emotions are totally out of control. She runs round the house naked and yelling at staff.

“All her guards knew they could be removed if they looked at her the wrong way. Unfortunately for Fernando, she took a liking to him, so he was under more pressure than most. He wanted to be a good security guard and look after her but the situation became unbearable.”

I don’t know about this but something in the milk ain’t clean. So basically, somewhere between the secret balcony meetings and the Grimace costume in the bedroom, Fernando fell out of love. Or was it after Britney went out to party pantiless and left him babysitting the kiddos while they watched Mr. Krabs telling Spongebob over and over how he loves money?

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Date Posted: May 24, 2010 - 3:37 am by: Paris
Categories: Britney Spears

I don’t know this whole deal about the love-hate relationship Britney Spears has with her hair as much as her bra, but recently there was another round of war between Britney and her hair and where else could be the perfect fighting arena and an opera stage for her tantrums than Disneyland of all places–with her two little kiddos as her audience, ofcourse.

In Touch reports:

“She started out crying hysterically and refused to go out,” an insider shares.

“Jason and the boys were left sitting with the nanny all day. They never got to meet Mickey Mouse.”

That night, things went from bad to worse when Britney ordered scissors sent to her room and began cutting off her hair. The insider says: “When the cleaners came to the room, so much hair had been flushed down the toilet, it was blocked.”

I know this may sound really insensitive but the only solution I can see happening for this is if Britney Spears changes her hairstylist. That or continue not wearing a bra, that should really help us her.

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Date Posted: September 2, 2009 - 2:27 am by: Paris
Categories: Kevin Federline

Here’s Kevin Federline and his life without Britney Spears. While on a private pool with his girlfriend Victoria Prince, K-Fed paraded his hot body around. He’s hot right, hot to be grilled! What has he been doing lately? Oops, sorry wrong question. What has he been EATING lately?

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