Date Posted: November 22, 2010 - 12:52 am by: Paris
Categories: Lindsay Lohan

Because we already knew this was gonna happen, E! Online is already confirming the inevitable…we won’t be seeing Lindsay Lohan’s ass being humped by a group of horny studs neither will we be seeing her love scene with a dog humping her leg because the producers of the Linda Lovelace biopic has had enough of her tricks and is now quitting that bitch. Via E! Online:

“We are withdrawing our offer from Lindsay Lohan,” Wilder says. “We are currently in negotiations [with another actress] and working out the legalities of bringing her onboard.”

“We have stuck by Lindsay very patiently for a long time with a lot of love and support,” Wilding says. “Ultimately, the impossibility of insuring her—and some other issues—have made it impossible for us to go forward.”

As much as I know this shit was gonna happen, it still blows. Lindsay Lohan could’ve won a Grammy for doing the only one role she’s a natural at. Update: Malin Ackerman is going to replace Lindsay as Linda Lovelace. Oh haaaael to the yeeeah!

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Date Posted: October 25, 2010 - 1:14 am by: Paris
Categories: Lindsay Lohan

Much as to nobody’s suprise, Lindsay Lohan’s ass won’t be marinating in jail because Judge Elden Fox has granted her to stay in rehab at the Betty Ford Center instead of the 180 days of time behind bars.  Sources say there was a possible chance that the judge was going to send Lindsay to jail but somehow ended up acting the foo’ giving in to the requests of Lindsay’s camp. Via Radar:

Lindsay was ordered to stay at Betty Ford until Jan. 3, 2011. The district attorney wanted Lindsay to do 180 days of hard time behind bars and said, “we have not gotten her attention yet.” The judge made a point of keeping Lindsay in rehab through the holidays. “There is a reason for that,” he said in court. Judge Fox also said he was new to “this sort of rodeo.”

Seriously, at this point, this ginger cokewhore could rob a bank or run over an old lady crossing the street for all the law could care, but Lindsay will always be a free bitch. I bet she’s masturbating over the judge’s decision right now. Dayummm…she must be a real good muff diver to always be giving the law the middle finger and getting away every fuckin’ time.

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Date Posted: October 15, 2010 - 12:27 am by: Paris
Categories: Lindsay Lohan

Because I haven’t posted any shit about Lindsay Lohan’s fuckeries for a day now, I’m sure you’re feeling the cold turkey by now. So let me be the one to give you your Lindsay fix today. Apparently, rehab isn’t helping the ginger cokewhore in any way because bitch is back to her old tricks. Reports are saying that Lindsay almost escaped the Betty Ford Clinic if it wasn’t for a rehab-mate who caught her clothes on the fence. Via Radar:

“Lindsay and her co-conspirator were forced to give it up and flag down a volunteer, who was crossing the center’s grounds on a golf cart,” a source, with knowlegde of the situation, told RadarOnline.com.

“The pair was safely returned, decaffeinated, to their hall, were they were the center of a process meeting over what they had done.”

Okay somebody should get their facts straight. I’m calling bs on this one. Lindsay Lohan resorted to getting an ccomplice for coke as opposed to giving someone a blowjay? Believe me, this rat will get her strawberry snortcake one way or another.

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Date Posted: October 4, 2010 - 3:29 am by: Paris
Categories: Lindsay Lohan

If you’re one of those fuckers who has a lot of free time on his hands then maybe this shit will interest you. As you know, the little ginger cokewhore Lindsay Lohan is brewing her ass in a rehab right now and based from these pictures, she looks like she fits in so well in the group. Do those people belong in the sex rehab building? Just making sure. Anwyay, let’s just pretend ayou’re one nosy bastard who cares about things of no value at all and take a peek at Lindsay’s daily schedule:

* 7 am wake up call

* 7:30 am breakfast (this consists of an omelet cooked to her liking or her choice of cereal, pancakes, fresh fruit)

* 8 am meditation followed by chores (chores are assigned during the first four days depending on Lindsay’s attitude)

* 9 am group therapy

* 11 am individual therapy

* 12 pm lunch

* 1 pm grief group

* 3 pm exercise (Lindsay can only work out in the gym or do water aerobics)

* 4 pm meeting

* 6 pm dinner

* 10 pm lights out

Wait, something is missing. Where did they squeeze in ‘steamy romp with the carpet munchers in the shower’? But I was told!

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Date Posted: October 3, 2010 - 1:01 am by: Paris
Categories: Lindsay Lohan

Speaking of things that are useless and full of shit, some (obviously) deluded people close to Lindsay Lohan’s ass are saying she may have a personality disorder that’s why she keeps on doing things that are out of her character. Say whuuuut??! Via Chicago Times:

“Some of us had wondered if Lindsay was bipolar, given her mood swings, but I’m thinking it’s more than that,” said the source, who claims LiLo has on occasion called herself “Diane” or “Margot.”

According to the insider, Lohan has explained the odd behavior as her way of “getting into and out of character” as an actress — “pretending to be other people.”

The last time I hung out with Bi-polar, it wasn’t sniffing a pile of the white shit or wasn’t doing blowjobs in an empty lot or doesn’t have famewhoring parents…should I continue with the list? I have all day!

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Date Posted: September 27, 2010 - 4:04 am by: Paris
Dayum! Two Lindsay Lohan posts in a day. I’m pretty sure there’s a side-effect to posting too much fuckery in one day. Anyfirecrotchway, these Lindsay Lohan heroin pictures have been circling around the web and reports say this happened back in 2007. It shows the ginger whore playing with a syringe and doing slutty poses infront of the camera.
That’s not all, who else would always be in attendance when it comes to  celebrity scandal but Paris Hilton. Seen in these thumbs is Parasite making out with Lindsay, an actual photographic evidence of a new upcoming strain of STD we all should watch out for!
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Date Posted: September 27, 2010 - 3:57 am by: Paris
Categories: Lindsay Lohan

Ever wonder if Lindsay Lohan is the fucking devil? Turns out the last laugh again goes to this vapid cokewhore because apparently she is getting out of jail on a $300,000 bail. Judge Fox earlier ruled out Lindsay could be held in jail without bail but it changed later today due to California law, that states defendants has the right to bail in misdemeanor cases. Via TMZ:

“Judge Patricia Schnegg, Assistant Supervising Judge for the L.A. County Criminal Courts, just threw Judge Fox’s bail decision out the window. Judge Schnegg has set bail at $300,000. Lindsay, who is in Lynwood Jail right now, should get out soon … probably in a few hours.”

Allow me to say what everyone else is thinking: This trial is horseshit. That’s what you expect from a family of Lohan’s. To no one’s consolation though, Lindsay Lohan’s ass is forced to wear a SCRAM bracelet once again which doesn’t mean shit ‘coz America’s Legal system rocks!

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Date Posted: September 22, 2010 - 1:13 am by: Paris
Categories: Lindsay Lohan

It hasn’t been over a month and the jail cell is already calling Lindsay Lohan’s ass back to the ward. Reports are saying until the probation violation hearing takes place, the Coke Bitch will be staying behind bars. The hearing could be anytime between next week to until 30 days so here’s to hoping that shit will take forever! Via Radar:

‘If it’s set for 30 days from now, Lindsay will remain behind bars during that time if that is what Judge Fox decides.” And, of course, Lindsay is looking at even more jail time after the probation violation hearing, thanks to testing positive for cocaine.’

I’m starting to think maybe this trainwreck is pulling a Robert Downey Jr. Get all trashy and borderline suicidal then clean her act later to become a star again. I mean yeah that sounds great…except that Robert Jr. actually has real talent.

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Date Posted: September 21, 2010 - 12:38 am by: Paris
Categories: Paris Hilton

Because Paris Hilton’s tits are more hypnotic than Lindsay Lohan’s, she won’t be getting thrown in the chokey for her arrest in Vegas just a few weeks back. If you follow this bitch closelt, you may remember that incident where she was caught carrying a small amount of coccaine in her purse in which her response was ofcourse, “it’s a setup!”. AP has more of this shit:

“Clark County District Attorney David Roger  says the celebrity socialite has agreed to plead guilty Monday to drug possession and obstructing an officer in Las Vegas Justice Court under the terms of a plea deal worked out with prosecutors after her Aug. 27 arrest.”

So basically , the judge told Hilton that she’s on a 1-yr unsupervised probation and ontop of that, to complete a drug abuse program. If Wonky Eyes violates any of this shit and gets arrested for anything unless it’s a minor traffic violation, she will be reunited with the insides of a jail cell for a whole year. Yeah I don’t think she’ll be doing time for this anytime soon, since Billionaire Barbie will let the Benjamins do the talking for her.

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