Guess what? Scarlett Johansson’s ass is back in the market fellas! Not sure if it’s because of a third party but if it had been, I would like to imagine it’s because of me. Are you kidding me? I’ve fantasized this chick more than anyone in Hollywhore! Yep, even more than Jessica Alba! Nobody brings the tits like she does! Via Superficial:
“The source explains that Iron Man 2 star Johansson initiated the split. At issue? “The big problem with their relationship is the distance,” says the source. “They spent a lot of time apart when they are working…She’s been unhappy for a while.”
…and John Mayer creeping infront of Scarlett Johansson’s balcony serenading his way into her panties in 3…2…1…
|Categories:||Eva Longoria Parker|
It hasn’teven been a month since the news of Eva Longoria and Tony Parker spearation and John Mayer is already sniffing on Eva Longoria’s ass. Reports say the mighty douchebag is working on making her his latest victim. Via PopEater:
“John is crazy about Eva,” a friend of the crooner tells me. “There is something about newly-divorced ladies that drives him nuts. He was the same way over Jessica [Simpson] when she left Nick [Lachey], and now he has his eye on Eva.”
I see a trend here. Look at this fucker’s history. He dated Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston and Taylor Swift. I’d say Mayer goes for damsels in distress to make them think he’s their knight in shining only to transform into an ogre who’s only trying to get in their skirts.
It’s been a while our ears and eyes haven’t bled with the the Mel-Oksana fuckery and I figured somebody has to report that shit. Here’s the latest news about the freak show and this time we got a shot of Oksana Grigorieva’s happy knocked up mug after the alleged beating. Now if this isn’t a face of either some softcore S&M lover or a desperate gold-digger hell bent to milk some cash, then shoot me dead. Via TMZ:
“According to Dr. Ross Shelden’s declaration, Oksana showed up at his office at 9 AM on January 7, 2010. Dr. Shelden claims he observed two “fractured front teeth, minor abrasions on her face and bruising to the left temple area of her face.” Dr. Shelden says, “[Oksana] broke down and admitted to me that she was hit the night before in Malibu,” and then reluctantly admitted Mel was the culprit, saying, “…she was extremely nervous about this information getting out to the public.”
Dayum. The things people motivated by money come up with. This bitch doesn’t need a dentist, what she needs is a pschyiatrist to lock up her crazy-ass in an asylum. You can’t trust a hoe with two chipped teeth, in the first place. Also, the fact that she looks like the aborted love-child of Angelina Jolie and Octomom is in this pic, isn’t really helping.
|Categories:||Eva Longoria Parker|
Following reports that Eva Longoria and Tony Parker is in talks of divorce, latest reports are confirming what I have speculated in the first place, a third party! Though…I messed up on who fucked up who. Turns out Tony Parker has been cheating on Eva Longoria’s ass on get this–on his former Spurs teammate’s wife! Via Huffington Post:
“The other woman is Erin Barry, the wife of Tony’s former Spurs teammate Brent Barry, according to Sports Illustrated writer Bryan Armen Graham. “Have it on good authority from entertainment sources that “former teammate” in Tony Parker-Eva Longoria affair is Brent Barry,” Graham tweeted.”
Get the Kardashians off the fuckin’ network, this shit is more reality show-material! I slipped in a pic of the alleged homewrecker and Tony, dude, it’s like I don’t know you anymore! You cheat on your wife with a chick that looks like your wife! That’s messed up.
Because humility is not in her vocabulary as well as class and elegance, Katy Perry’s tits is bragging to Now Magazine that she party likes a rockstar and fucks like a pornstar, adding her ex(or is it?)-sex addict husband Russel Brand will back her up on that shit. Via Radar:
“He’s cheated in the past but he knows how good he has it with me and I know he’d never do anything to jeopardise that. I trust him 100%.”
Asked how she keeps him satisfied the Teenage Dream singer explained: “Like Ludacris rapped, ‘I’m a lady in the street and a freak in the bed’. “I can’t rate myself, but if you ask Russell I’m sure he’d give me a 10 out of 10.”
Now let’s not over-exaggerate here with the scoring system shall we Katy? As much as I want to believe you are indeed a ten, shouldn’t we first put that to the test? Look, I’m even willing to do it with Russel Brand around, but in the condition that I’m not to be one oh his fantasy ladyboys ok! Just making it clear.
If it wasn’t enough to hear Christina Aguilera getting it on with Samantha Fucking Ronson, here’s another rumor that’s almost as equally fucked up. Some sources are saying Christina was a battered wife. Reports are claiming that the slutty clown came into Cedars-Sinai Medical Center with her mouth bleeding out of a busted-up lip. Her estranged husband Jordan Bratman told the nurses she had fallen down. Some witness-type hoes are also farting that they say Christina with bumps and red bruises along with her bloodied lip. Via Radar:
“Shortly after they arrived to Cedars, Christina’s ‘private surgeon’ arrived to put a few stitches in her lip,” the source added.
Adding to the mystery of why the singer needed treatment, on October 12, she was photographed wearing a hat pulled down over her face with what appears to be a small cut below her lower lip. That is the same day that she and Bratman announced the end of their five-year marriage, citing “irreconcilable differences.”
I highly doubt this soft sensitive-looking mole man could even hurt an ant in the ground, let alone his wife. But let’s say he turned Ike Turner on her, in his defense, he probably snapped and blacked out. The poor guy probably had enough of seeing Krusty the Clown everytime Christina gets done with her make-up.
Another day, another divorce lawyer lands a job! Christina Aguilera’s tits has jumped out of the marriage train with Jordan Bratman despite being together for 5 years and having a 2-year old son named Max. A nosy bitch tells a magazine that Christina and Jordan still has hearts all over their eyes when they see each other but that it was more of a bestfriend thingy than romantic love. Riiiight. Via UsWeekly:
“They were very much in love,” explains the insider. “But over the last six months, it became clear they were more like friends than husband and wife.”The source adds that Aguilera even “ proposed their August trip to Italy to rekindle their relationship, but it didn’t help.
In their defense though, 5 years in celebrity marriages is like 20 years in real life. That’s your basic Hollywood marriage for you. Now that she’s available, maybe she would consider hooking up with a stylist this time, it could totally benefit her and her alter clown ego!
Well it looks like David Arquette has no more Cox because some sources say that the 11-year married Hollywood couple has just quit each other! Yesterday, reports circulated that their relationship has been in the rocks for quite a few months now and it’s believed that Courteney has allowed David to dip his balls into some other chick’s punani. Well, not only is this shit as solid as a rock, the pussy-naming game has begun! Apparently, David has slept with a waiter and an aspiring actress named Jasmine Waltz after Courteney ok’ed to the ‘they can see each other people’ rule. Arquette claims he did this after his wife stopped rolling over to give him a blowjob each night and that pretty much made things even worse for their marriage. Via TMZ:
“David claims he still loves Courteney — and calls her one of the most amazing people on the planet.
David is also adamant that he never cheated on Courteney before the split — but admits he has had sex with rebound chick Jasmine Waltz … his “one conquest.”
Well let’s take it from David Arquette to show you how to fuck up any future possible chances with your wife by confessing you slept with a hotter, younger piece and farting about it in public! Yeah, revenge fuck is the key.
Ryan, man…when will you learn? Ryan Philippe was caught red-handed by her latest girlfriend, some actress named Alexis Knapp, locking lips with some hot chick at his 36th birthday party at one of his pal’s bachelor’s pad in Hollywood Hills. Poor guy can’t control his wang from coming out of his pants all the time. Via National Enquirer:
“The party got off to a bad start for Alexis, who hated that “Jersey Shore” star Snooki was parading around in a bikini, rubbing up against all the guys. Later, irritated when she couldn’t find Phillippe, Alexis started searching, opened the door to a back bedroom – and exploded when she discovered him hot-and-heavy with another girl!
“Alexis went ballistic,” said an eyewitness. “She started screaming, calling them names. She got so hysterical, two friends had to haul her out and take her home.”
It must suck to be Ryan Philippe’s main poontang but you gotta be stupid to think he’s gonna stick to one when his track record of monogamy are all red marks. Besides, what do you expect from a dude who still looks like he’s in college. As long as his looks can get away with it, he’ll always be Mr. Poon Hound.
…and it’s David Beckham’s turn to wear the Cheater hat! Reports say that the British soccer star has been sexing a high-class whore named Irma on the down low back in 2007. Cue Posh Spice phoning E.T. to weep about this shit. In Touch Weekly reports:
‘Irma claims that after agreeing on a price of $10,000 to stay the night, the two spent the next hour engaged in steamy foreplay. Irma says she then “whipped out” a condom and the two had sex for 15 minutes, but it was “nothing freaky,” she remembers. “He was very gentle and kind.” On a scale of 1 to 10, Irma rates David a 7½ as a lover. “He knew what he was doing.” She also recalls that David used lotion from the hotel bathroom to pleasure himself. “It was perfumed, so it kind of burned him!”’
Beckham went all sentimental and opened up about her marriage life to Irma, saying that he’s actually a butt guy more than a bust guy, adding he likes Victoria’s body before she looked like E.T.’s long-lost sister. I mean could you blame the guy really? It’s prolly like munching on a bone in the sack with that boney-ass snob.