Date Posted: December 6, 2010 - 2:06 am by: Paris
Categories: Britney Spears

For the Nth fucking time, Jason Trawick didn’t beat up Britney Spears’ ass ya’ll!! …or that’s what she claims. StarMagazine, the mag who’s releasing audio shit that proves Brit Brit was a battered gf at one point is still sticking to their story and the popstar isn’t too amused about it and wants the haters to kick her hillbilly ass! Via Us Weekly:

Britney Spears wants to make one thing clear: Jason Trawick never laid a hand on her. “Star Magazine, Radar Online, Jason Alexander and the rest of you liars, yawl can kiss my lily white southern Louisiana ass!” the singer, 29, tweeted Thursday. The biting statement comes on the heels of a Star report that alleges Spears reached out to ex Jason Alexander after Trawick, 38, allegedly “beat her.”

Wow StarMagazine is really shitting in on this one. But let’s wait for Gloria Alred to buttfuck this opportunity without lube. You can be sure she smelled the money from miles away!. Get ready for the upcoming fuckery fellas…

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Date Posted: June 21, 2010 - 2:49 am by: Paris
Categories: Lady Gaga

The walking wardrobe disaster slash ass-clown known as Lady Gaga probably thinks everybody wants to see a hermaphrodite in it’s underwear so it showed up at a Yankees game pantless and wearing just a Yankee shirt that still didn’t really cover its fug. I mean, seriously. How many queers can you find at a freakin’ baseball game? Since it was drunk and bored like a pedophile in an empty playground, it started fondling its tits in the freakin’ stadium which caused the security to ban its hermy ass for good.

NewYork Post reports:

A fuming Hal Steinbrenner informed Yankee Stadium executives that Lady Gaga is permanently banned from the team’s clubhouse after her boozy antics — including swigging whiskey and repeatedly fondling her boobs — during a visit to the house that Ruth built Friday night, sources told The Post.

The songstress and two girlfriends sauntered their way into the Bombers’ clubhouse — without team approval — and hung out for 30 minutes after the team lost to the Mets.

She showed up in the fifth-inning and threw a tantrum when she was seated in the front-row. After cursing out nearby photographers, she forced the team to move her to Jerry Seinfeld’s luxury box. Then she flipped off the Flushing crowd with both fingers after swilling beers.

So Lady Gaga was drunk off its ass at a Yankees game, groping its tits and flipping off the paps? I think this is all a scheme so security would take it in the shower while it hopes to get gangbanged. It is so predictable.

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Date Posted: June 19, 2010 - 7:07 am by: Paris
Categories: Kate Gosselin

If you haven’t gotten enough of Kate Gosselin’s tits then you’re one lucky bastard ‘coz apparently she’s planning to have fake tits after her bodyguard advised her to. I know, I don’t know either.

Us Weekly reports:

Bosom buddy, indeed! Mom of eight Kate Gosselin, 35, is rarely seen without her trusted bodyguard of three years, Steve Neild. During her recent run on Dancing with the Stars, a show source says, the New Zealander was “omnipresent on the set — at rehearsals, on the press line, everywhere!”

And now a source says in the new Us Weekly the married father of two not only drove Gosselin to the doctor when she got breast enhancements March 30, 2009, but even weighed in on what the result should be: “Kate was going to have one kind of breast augmentation, but she changed her mind after talking to Steve about what would look best.”

(Multiple sources tell Us Weekkly the procedure — which can cost $10,000 — took place. Gosselin went from a size 4 shirt to a size 6 shirt.)
Asked about a boob job earlier this year, Gosselin responded, “Plastic surgery? Please. Who has time to even think about it, let alone do it?” Well, she did: The TLC star’s tummy tuck was documented on a 2007 episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8!

Wow. I’m sure this guy’s wife is thrilled to hear all this. I mean it’s pretty strange why Kate would take the advice of her bodyguard of all people…but I guess if he’s spending a lot of time with those things then he should have a say on it.

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Date Posted: June 1, 2010 - 3:30 am by: Paris
Categories: Megan Fox

Wow, two Megan Fox posts today! It only means one thing, Lindsay Lohan isn’t awake yet to make the headlines. Earlier I posted rumors about Megan Fox being offered a role in the next Pirates of the Carribean movie as a mermaid who seduces Johnny Depp. Well these Megan Fox bikini candids with her boyfriend Brian Austin Green at the beach pretty much tells us what to expect from her in that movie.

You got to admit she looks really freakin’ thin and boney these days but what’s even freakier is that malnourished ninja turtle abs she’s sporting. While I’d like to fantasize about her as a hot topless mermaid, those trashy alleyway hooker tattoos makes her look more like some swamp creature that gives pirates a blowjob for some buffalo wings.

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Date Posted: May 25, 2010 - 2:42 am by: Paris
Categories: Lady Gaga

If you got the mad dancing skills and this really stupid idea popped in your head that you wanted to be part of Lady Gaga’s dancing crew but you happen to be David Duchovny, then you better quit that dream ‘coz apparently the eccentric troll won’t let that shit roll.

The Daily Star reports:

The Bad Romance singer has banned her dancers from having sex on tour because she wants them to “make love to her on stage”….My tour source told me: “She has made it quite clear to all her dancers they are not allowed to have sex while the tour is still going. She won’t be happy if she finds out any of them have broken the rules and it’s likely they wouldn’t be asked back. “She wants them to give 100% on stage so she doesn’t want them wasting energy on bedtime action. In saucy routines during the show she pretends to have sex with some of the dancers and wants these bits to look as real as possible. She’s a perfectionist and wants every aspect of the tour just right.” My source added: “She’s told her dancers they are married to her so they need to fully commit to the tour in every way she requests.”

For someone who shows so much flesh and panty upskirts, this hoe’s reeking of hypocrisy! I am against this selfish fuckery but when you think about it, Lady Gaga has a point. Trying to control yourself from strangling this troll with her pathetic crazy-ass costumes requires a shitload of energy alone.

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Date Posted: May 21, 2010 - 3:12 am by: Paris
Categories: Amanda Seyfried

Realizing the dangers of herpes after the rumors broke out that her boyfriend Dominic Cooper was spotted getting all flirty with Lindsay Lohan The Walking Cesspool at a party in Cannes a few nights ago, Amanda Seyfried finally quit the douche.

Us Weekly reports:

Amanda Seyfried and Dominic Cooper are “on a break,” a source tells UsMagazine.com.
The couple — who began dating about three years ago — have not officially split.
“They have been on and off for a long time,” the source tells Us. “Right now, they are taking some space from each other.”
“They still talk all the time and are trying to work things out,” continues the source. “They are still very good friends.”

Let’s just hope this Amanda chick will be smart enough not to take his cheating ass back! Anybody who dips his peen in Lindsay’s gutterhole has a death wish. In no time, Dominic’s dick will fall off before his career will.

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Date Posted: May 20, 2010 - 2:19 am by: Paris
Categories: Lindsay Lohan

Just to clear out the rumors that she’s found another lesbian lover and to get payback time after Amanda Seyfried implied in a recent interview that she’s immature, Lindsay Lohan is now following in the steps of Sienna Miller in the homewrecking department.

E!News reports:

“They were having fun, paryting,” an eyewitness tells E! News. “Lindsay was dancing.”

Cooper is in town to hype his new film, Tamara Drewe; Seyfried, meanwhile, is back in the States promoting her new chick flick, Letters to Juliet.
At one point, Cooper was dancing on a couch while Lohan stood on the floor beneath him.

“They were being coy with each other,” the clubgoer says. “Not really touch, but flirty. After Grace’s performance the sat down at the table next to each other and were hanging out.”

If this is actually true, then Amanda Seyfried better quit the boyfriend’s ass because there hasn’t been a disinfectant known to man that can kill the smegma odor of Lindsay’s vajayjay off this tool’s weiner.

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Date Posted: May 17, 2010 - 3:14 am by: Paris
Categories: Paris Hilton

I’m not sure why this could even be considered news but it is. Paris Hilton is reportedly putting illegal things in her mouth in public…though not in a way that you most definitely wanted to hear. There had been a gang replacing cigarette smoked with marijuana. Basically Santa is real because he just made my wish come true.

National Enquirer reports:

Paris Hilton was seen puffing a funny-smelling cigarette at Drai’s Hollywood nightclub on April 28. The socialite was all smiles in her cloud of smoke until she spotted a fellow clubgoer filming her with a camera phone. Oops! (Print Edition – 5/17)

I could care less about Paris Hilton at this point. All I want to know is her dealer’s number so I can get myself  those ’special-flavored’ cigarettes.

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Date Posted: May 15, 2010 - 10:42 am by: Paris
Categories: Jessica Simpson
If she had a candy for everytime Jeremy Piven checked out her ass, Jessica Simpson would be Shamu by now. Maybe her funbags were being shallow last Tuesday, because Piven has been playing the staring game with her ass when she was filming Entourage.
US Magazine reports:
“In between takes, he was staring at Jessica’s ass in the most obvious of ways,” a witness tells UsMagazine.com. “He wasn’t being sly about it and would just watch her every move. He flirts with ugly girls, so you can imagine how crazy for Jessica Simpson he was. She almost seemed like she couldn’t wait to change into her jeans, but she was a good sport about it and kind of laughed it off.”
It’s amazing how a few words can make you look like a million dollars. I’m talking about John Douchebag Mayer’s interview with Playboy practically telling everybody that banging her was “sexual napalm” so I’m not blaming Piven if he wanted to find out what a bucket of spareribs and two helium bags taste like altogether.
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Date Posted: May 14, 2010 - 2:34 am by: Paris
Categories: Taylor Momsen

This news about the ‘hard-ass’ 16 year old Taylor Momsen is just proof that there’s another Dina Lohan working her ass off. Because what better way to show off your parenting skills than allowing your child to be the aspiring Angelina Jolie of the knife collection in today’s youth.

Taylor tells The Sun:

“I have a knife collection. My favourite’s my switchblade. I flew from New York to Los Angeles and still had a couple of knives in my purse. I thought I took them all out but they got tucked up in the folds.”
“I went through security, took them on the plane, opened my bag to get my wallet in LA and they fell out. I was like: “Holy sh-t!”‘”
She added: ‘I have my favourite black knife with me all the time. It’s a switchblade. It relaxes me to flick it.”

Coming up next, Bin Laden spotted wearing a blonde wig and fuck-me-boots in East China!

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