If you’re a nosy fucker like me who likes following celebrity divorces and want to be in the know on the hot vulnerable Hollywood bombshells in need of a rebound fuck, then here’s an update on Eva Longoria’s separation from douchebag Tony Parker. Reports are saying that Tony was jealous of Mario Lopez, of all people, and that put a strain on their marriage as wekk as the fact that he banged 7 other whore son the side. Via National Enquirer:
“Eva thought she’d found the perfect man in Tony, but in the end he deceived her, lied to her and broke her heart,” a close source told The Enquirer. Tony was also rumored to be secretly seeing another women in France besides Alexandra Paressant. Despite his cheating, Tony was extremely jealous of Eva’s close friendship with Mario Lopez, insiders say. “Tony never liked or trusted Mario,” said a source. “He called him ‘the pretty boy actor who’s mad that he can’t have my wife.’
I call bullshit on this one. Everyone knows Mario Lopez is as straight as the Tom Cruise’s crystal dildo so what the fuck dude? If you’re tired of humping on Eva Longoria’s punani everyday then just say so. But don’t go telling buddies that you’re jealous a gay dude might bang your wife. So grow some fuckin’ balls, and pardon my french!
It hasn’teven been a month since the news of Eva Longoria and Tony Parker spearation and John Mayer is already sniffing on Eva Longoria’s ass. Reports say the mighty douchebag is working on making her his latest victim. Via PopEater:
“John is crazy about Eva,” a friend of the crooner tells me. “There is something about newly-divorced ladies that drives him nuts. He was the same way over Jessica [Simpson] when she left Nick [Lachey], and now he has his eye on Eva.”
I see a trend here. Look at this fucker’s history. He dated Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston and Taylor Swift. I’d say Mayer goes for damsels in distress to make them think he’s their knight in shining only to transform into an ogre who’s only trying to get in their skirts.
Surprise! Tony Parker cheated on Eva Longoria’s ass with 7 other women! Well it looks like basketball isn’t the only sport this douchebage nozzle is playing. Because you got to admit it, cheating is a fun, physical sport—and then you get caught and the fun stops. Apparently, Tony Parker has enrolled himself in the Tiger Woods Academy of Whoremongering ‘coz dude got busted when Eva saw numerous texts and pics of girls naked on his phone, and in the sent items were pics of his junk for those bitches. Yeesh. Via National Enquirer:
Eva found naked photos of Erin Barry on Tony’s phone “Eva found not only sexual text messages, but graphic photos that Tony and Erin had been e-mailing each other,” a source told The Enquirer. “Erin had e-mailed pictures of her breasts and other body parts to Tony, and he’d sent her cell phone shots of his private parts.” The sexting had been going on since at least February, said the source.
He already admitted once that he sticked his peen into some other chick’s poon. that was the cue for Eva to leave his cheating ass. Moral lesson of the story girls, never trust a guy with an accent!
Following reports that Eva Longoria and Tony Parker is in talks of divorce, latest reports are confirming what I have speculated in the first place, a third party! Though…I messed up on who fucked up who. Turns out Tony Parker has been cheating on Eva Longoria’s ass on get this–on his former Spurs teammate’s wife! Via Huffington Post:
“The other woman is Erin Barry, the wife of Tony’s former Spurs teammate Brent Barry, according to Sports Illustrated writer Bryan Armen Graham. “Have it on good authority from entertainment sources that “former teammate” in Tony Parker-Eva Longoria affair is Brent Barry,” Graham tweeted.”
Get the Kardashians off the fuckin’ network, this shit is more reality show-material! I slipped in a pic of the alleged homewrecker and Tony, dude, it’s like I don’t know you anymore! You cheat on your wife with a chick that looks like your wife! That’s messed up.
It’s been awhile we haven’t heard anything about Eva Longoria and it’s pretty sad it’s got to be news about her marriage life. Reports are saying the Desperate Housewife hottie is actually desperate in trying to avoid her husband Tony Parker because rumors have been circulating that they are both trying to get a divorce. Via E!:
“She was supposed to be one of the many celebs to appear at the taping of Anderson Cooper’s CNN Heroes of 2010 television special but she canceled over the weekend.
Could it have to do with husband Tony Parker and whispers that there’s trouble between them? A rep for the Desperate Housewives star declined to confirm or deny her CNN cancellation, asking that we send an email requesting comment. Asked if Eva and Tony have split, the rep remained mum.”
Well this only makes sense. If you guys remember, Eva divorced Tyler Christopher from General Hospital after their marriage of two years so we’re seeing a pattern here. Let’s hope it’s not because she cheated on him with their young, hot gardener.
Having a boy’s haircut and being reed-thin are not reasons for Victoria Beckham not to flaunt her cleavage every chance she gets. Here she is making an appearance at Eva Longoria’s restaurant Beso wearing a white corset dress that accentuates her thinness and fake breasts to the fullest. I guess she wants to remind the world that she’s a woman, hence the pushup bra to show off her cleavage. Check out the full set of pictures below.