You may have heard about the fuckery about Kanye West impregnated Kim Kardashian, well you’re right about, it’s fuckery. Kim K is telling people that she isn’t knocked up with Gayfish’s baby and didn’t even want to have a relationship with the douche. Via MediaTakeout:
A source very close to Kim tells Hollyscoop the report is “absolutely not true,” adding that the report is simply “ridiculous.” MediaTakeOut reported, “Kim has been seeing Kanye [West] off and on for years now. But this summer, they [hooked up] five or six times.” The insider continued, “Kanye told her that he didn’t want anything serious, but Kim really likes him.”
Well thank goodness this shit didn’t happen or I’d have to take up snorting hash again. Can you imagine what the kid would be like being the child of two of the most egoistic attentionwhores in celebworld? It would be a fetus and they would still stick a camera up there. You know that’s a fact.
Now that Gabriel Aubry isn’t tapping Kim Kardashian’s ass, the reality tv star has reportedly moved on to greener pastures, namely NBA player Kris Humpries. It was reported that the two were spotted at Nobu in NYC having dinner and again in Maxwell’s Bar in New Jersey. Via Life&Style:
“Kim likes him much more than Gabriel,” says the insider to Life & Style. “He’s normal, so much fun and cute. He’s perfect for what Kim wants right now, which is some fun dates and some fun times.”
Well it’s official. She’s dickmatized by the black D. She tried to taste vanilla but ended up craving for chocolate. Well now she’s got both, ‘coz this basketball stud is half black and half white. There are more desirable things than dating one of the most handsome men in the modeling history, like uh..I don’t know, an athlete who’s got a hardworking prostate.
Now this has got the be the shit news of the century. Apparently, some nosy sources are saying that Kim Kardashian is knocked up with Kanye West’s child! Oh no he di’int! Well yes he did, according to a close friend of the Kardashians. Via MediaTakeOut.com:
And now, according to the insider, she suspects that Kim Kardashian is PREGNANT. The insider explains, “Kim is being very secretive about everything. She calls [Kanye] almost non-stop and wants to know what she should do.” The insider reportedly OVERHEARD the conversation between Kanye and Kim, with her OWN EARS. So when can we expect an announcement. MediaTakeOut.com’s snitch explained, “Knowing Kim, she’ll coincide it with her show, in one episode her and Kanye go out on a date.”
Well I highly doubt this story is genuine coz of the simple reason that Kanye would rather take a dildo up his butthole than put his mini peen in Kim Kardashian’s ass. But if this fuckery happens to be true, I suggest a priest should be standing by the ER ready to perform an exorcism.
The Governer of Alaska, Sarah Palin, was supposed to be on the cover of PEOPLE magazine but reports say Kim Kardashian snagged the cover despite the photographer’s efforts on Sarah Palin’s photoshoot and the fact that the Governer hottie was on the mag to promote her show, Sarah Palin’s Alaska. Via Blemish:
“Palin had been penciled in as a possible cover with an exclusive interview to promote her TLC show, “Sarah Palin’s Alaska.” “Kim didn’t know she was going to be the cover this week,” a source said. “She only did the interview at an event with the magazine just days earlier.” Palin’s six-page spread was photographed by Michael O’Neill, who flew up to Alaska, while Kardashian’s pictures were pick-ups.”
I was gonna suggest maybe they could put the two girls on the cover, since they’re both pretty hot anyway but then I realized that probably won’t work since Kim Kardashian’s ass is just gonna eat up Sarah Palin’s space. I don’t think there’s a tool created in Photoshop for that ass.
A few weeks ago, we spotted Kim Kardashian hangin’ out with Gayfish West, and now there are rumors flying about that the two are now bumping privates and that Kanye hasn’t been sucked by her vortex of an ass and is still in one dick piece. When asked about the rumors in an interview, he tried to play it cool but dude despite the fact that we are all aware that no black dong can be safe within 3 feet of Kim K. Radar reports:
“There’s pictures of us hanging out?” West questioned when confronted by Mojo in the Morning about Kardashian. “Man, I need to get on the Internet more!” After some urging from the radio personalities to just admit his relationship with Kardashian, West paused and opted to dance around the question. “Well, that’s what you said,” he answered.”
Niiiice! *rubs hands together* I guess it’s safe to say there’s a Kim Kardashian-Kanye West sex tape waiting to be “leaked” pretty soon! The question is, who’s peeing on who?
Guess the name of this singer who’s reportedly hooking up with the Armenian goddess just recently? Hint: He’s not black! Oh you might think it’s a pretty random match but when you think about it, it’s a match made in high hell actually. John Mayer’s white supremacist balls has been hooking up with Kim Kardashian’s ass! Via Page Six:
“One source said, “They brought along other friends, but the idea was to see if they would hit it off.” Kim’s made it clear she’s on the hunt for a new man in New York. But Mayer wasn’t amused when we reported they were seen chatting in the lobby of Sirius XM last December.”
Well, ain’t this just great. Two of the world’s worst attentionwhores passing STDs back and forth. I’d say if things get serious between these two twats, it’d be one fuckin’ Twitter nightmare. Imagine 5,000 Twitter tweets daily and most likely another sextape where we see Mayer gets sucked by the supermasive blackhole known as Kim’s ass.
Start saving those Kim Kardashian naked pictures and bask in them with everything you have because Ass Queen is telling everyone that her pussy peddling days are over! After her nude outtakes in Playboy went out, Kim K is no saying that she’s done with showing us her naked bits because she’s aging. Via Us Magazine:
That spread, she said, may have been her nude swan song. “I don’t know [if I'll pose nude again],” she admitted to Us. “I’m too old for that now…I wanted to get it all out of my system before I turned 30.”
Well this sucks. Maybe someone has to sit her down and show her pictures of Pamela Anderson and tell her there is no age limit for getting down and naked if you’ve got the decent goodies for it. No self-respecting whore would back down just because her flapjacks swayed a little. I’d still hit it. In the words of Kat Williams, let me tell her…“eitherway, we’re fucking!”
Well apparently, there’s another way to get Kim Kardashian wet, and it happened at a New York city nightclub last night when a male fan asked for a pic with Kim and his girlfriend, who probably thought Kim Kardashian’s ass would eat her man, came into the scene and threw a drink at the reality tv star. Via TMZ:
“I want to address this because everyone has been asking me if I’m ok after the bar fight last night,” Kim, 29. blogged Friday. “I’m totally fine, guys!”… “A drunk male fan came up to me and asked to take a picture, and I obliged, but his girlfriend, who was also drunk, got a little out of hand,” she explained. “Luckily I had Scott [Disick] and Khloe there to protect me.”
I bet the main reason for the drink throwing wasn’t jealousy. The girlfriend just wanted to see how Kim will react when somebody sprinkles her body wet, as provoked by her boyfriend.
Girl: For the last time, I don’t want a golden shower!
Guy: Aw cmon babe, trust me eveybody does it, Kim Kardashian will get on her knees for it!
I’m not sure what’s going on in this pic but it looks like Kanye West aka Gayfish is exposing his dingleberries to Kim Kardashian and by the look on her face, she doesn’t look too happy about it. Anyway some sources close to this Armenian bombshell is saying she’s now ready for hook-ups which probably explains the pic. Via People:
Everyone is now trying to hook me up,” she says. “In a way, since I hate meeting new people and I hate that first-dating thing, it’s kind of reassuring to know, ‘Okay, this [person] knows them, so maybe they’re normal.’”
Whether or not she finds her one true love, Kardashian could be in the mood for romance as she and her sister establish a new Dash clothing store in Gotham. “I’d be down for some hookups,” Kim says.
Well if this is the way she hold the audition for hook-ups, count me the fuck in. I got to start packing a lot of water, I bet whoever can pee the longest gets extra brownie points.
A shitload of people in the US unemployed, but that didn’t stop Kim Kardashian to spend $100,000 in handbags that could feed an entire town in a 3rd world-country for a year!
It all went down in the notoriously expensive Hermes store — where we’re told Kim and her mother Kris purchased six of the label’s exclusive “Birkin” bags … valued at around $10,000 apiece. But here’s the kicker — sources close to the reality star tell TMZ, Kim also bought herself an extremely rare crocodile-skin bag from the upscale French boutique … worth around $30,000.
Well. It looks like Montana Fishburne’s goals were on the right track after all. You make a sextape and get a golden shower equals a shit ton of money you can feed your ass to for a lifetime…or atleast until your ass is still relevant.