It’s been a while our ears and eyes haven’t bled with the the Mel-Oksana fuckery and I figured somebody has to report that shit. Here’s the latest news about the freak show and this time we got a shot of Oksana Grigorieva’s happy knocked up mug after the alleged beating. Now if this isn’t a face of either some softcore S&M lover or a desperate gold-digger hell bent to milk some cash, then shoot me dead. Via TMZ:
“According to Dr. Ross Shelden’s declaration, Oksana showed up at his office at 9 AM on January 7, 2010. Dr. Shelden claims he observed two “fractured front teeth, minor abrasions on her face and bruising to the left temple area of her face.” Dr. Shelden says, “[Oksana] broke down and admitted to me that she was hit the night before in Malibu,” and then reluctantly admitted Mel was the culprit, saying, “…she was extremely nervous about this information getting out to the public.”
Dayum. The things people motivated by money come up with. This bitch doesn’t need a dentist, what she needs is a pschyiatrist to lock up her crazy-ass in an asylum. You can’t trust a hoe with two chipped teeth, in the first place. Also, the fact that she looks like the aborted love-child of Angelina Jolie and Octomom is in this pic, isn’t really helping.
Since Oksana Grigorieva’s evil money-humping ways has found a home in one of the more well-known gossip columns, she is now once again putting out a fuckery about how Mel Gibson doesn’t want to see the shadow of a psychiatric exam despite documents that says Mr.Blowjob is indeed in anger management. Radar is saying that Oksana is trying clear it out that she demanded Mel to see a professional to make sure he isn’t going to harm their baby Lucia. The source also went ahead and said that Oksana was supposedly going to walk away with $20 million but didn’t sign off the final deal because of the absence of the documents.
So okay, let me get this straight. Oksana refused money that could have been used for her and baby Lucia’s security should Mel Gibson finally snaps and takes it out on her ass all because she didn’t see a document that says Mel isn’t really crazy after all? This whole mess is more confusing than we all thought! Here I thought Oksana was just a regular gold-digger but I was wrong. Somebody make sure this isn’t a code she’s putting out. There are Russian spies who walk among us! This bitch might be one of them!
It’s good to know that despite the chaos and instability we have in this world, there are still two things we can rely on. One, that McDonalds will always ask if you would like to upgrade your meal and two, that Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva will refuse to quit the bitch! And by bitch, I meant the whole of humanity!
Looks like the war is far from over because TMZ is reporting that the Russian baby mama’s lawyer and the Los Angeles Sherrif Department met up recently to discuss the mediation agreement she had with Mr. Blowjob. Both parties aren’t saying much because they legally can’t but TMZ has the details and here’s what it basically sums up:
*the investigators on the case are balls-deep all-ears in the claims that Oksana is queefing out now but didn’t during the mediation
*Oksana had a sudden memory lapse, never mentioning the fact that she thinks Mel G was a threat to their baby, also that Mel threatened to have a killing spree on her, Alexander, Lucia and will pull an American Beauty scene where he also kills himself in the end.
*She also never produced a photo of Mel’s fist mark on her face
In addition to these, the investigators are asking about Oksana’s messages to Mel during the mediation telling him she turned dj and made a remix of his outbursts because he was being neglectful of her needs. Mel’s camp is saying they got solid evidence that the Russian baby mama is basically putting a price tag on the tapes, as all gold-digging bitches do, according to their universal protocol. And here’s the part where we all say…Nuh uh???! There’s no way in hell Oksana could be extorting money from Mel! That’s like saying all Jews eat spaghetti with bacon strips instead of meatballs on the day of the birth of Christ when they actually should be eating whatever Jews eat where come night time the men would ask oral from the women and wait—where was I going with this? Git that money bitch!
The blowjob-crazed(and deprived), Satan-reincarnated Mel Gibson finally got a break from the past few weeks where recordings of his N-word and other dirty foul language-filled verbal barf has added fuel to his already soiled reputation as a hardcore racist. Child services paid Mel G a visit and made a decision that pretty much proves that the California government system is a big fat joke.
“The Department of Children and Family Services believes Mel has a wonderful relationship with his infant daughter Lucia,” a source close to the actor told RadarOnline.com. DCFS visited Gibson at his home last week, as RadarOnline.com was first to report.
“They have a very healthy father-daughter relationship,” the source said. “He is very involved with her. Mel is a great father to her and this is why there have been no changes as far as his visits with her are concerned.”
DCFS says that now, but wait until my dog’s vet gives this fuckwit a visit and he’ll say otherwise. He’ll probably be requiring Mel to take a rabies shot while he’s at it, and to wear a dog muzzle, a no-bark collar(well, a no-pant collar in his case) and advise him to be in a damn cage with a lock only from the outside at all times and away from kids, incase his ass transforms into a rabid beast again.
Hollywood’s A-list star and Bar Rafaeli’s long-time boyfriend, Leonardo DiCaprio, apparently doesn’t want to do shit with Mel Gibson because he reportedly pulled himself out of the Mel Gibson-directed Viking movie. With Inception still #1 at the box office, I don’t think Leo is stupid enough to throw the rising success down the drain to be involved in alleged wife-beater/racist mongrel.
“Not a chance,” said a source, close to the Inception star, when asked if he was still planning to star in Gibson’s next project.
A source close to DiCaprio said the star, who is currently basking in the release of his wildly acclaimed box-office topping movie Inception, did not want to risk his reputation, with being associated with Mel.
“Leo has earned the right to pick and choose who he works with and Mel Gibson is not one of them,” the source added.
Whatever happened to that movie Mel Gibson is starring in about a beaver? Don’t tell me the beaver pulled out of that mess too? It makes sense though. The beaver doesn’t give a dam about that rabid beast no more. You got my joke? Beaver don’t give a dam? High five!
You might think President Obama wouldn’t give two cents about things that lack class but I guess a man will always love a pair of rack, even if they belong to Hollywood’s vapid trainwreck Lindsay Lohan. As shitty as it sounds, at least his vocubalry doesn’t include a Snooki in it.
Quizzed by Joy Behar in a “lightening” round, Obama was asked if he knew if Lohan is in jail. “I actually know that, yes,” the President responded.
But Snooki stumped him. “Should Snooki run as mayor of Wasilla?” Behar asked. Obama, laughing, responded, “I gotta admit, I don’t know who Snooki is.”
On his final question, the Chief Executive was thrown – or simply being diplomatic – when Behar inquired if he thought Gibson needs “anger management.”
“I … I …,” the President stuttered and then joked, “Let me answer the Afghanistan question!” He informed the panel he “hadn’t seen the tapes.”
Isn’t it funny how Obama is scared shitless to talk about Mel Gibson but wants to talk about terrorists without batting an eyelash? Looks like someone got a call from Mel Gibson too.
Since the Mel Gibson leaked musical rants are focusing too much on the blacks, Jews and Mexicans, the genius who provided us with the amusement decided it was time that the next episode should have a guest star in it. And guess who? It’s the 007 star Timothy Dalton, who also happens to be the father of Oksana Grigorieva’s 12-year old son.
In the new tape, furious Mel says: “Did you get my last message about me being a bad father, and Tim being a great dad now?” Oksana, who does not fight back on the new tape, utters a barely audible “no,” as Gibson continues to rant, hurling some of the most hateful language yet captured on audio.
“You didn’t hear that one?” Mel continues. “Well, you should go and f*ck him (Dalton), you know, you fickle c*nt because I don’t care.”
“The game’s over,” Mel yells. “Okay. The game’s over. Let the new games begin so you can get it on with anybody else and your son can watch it. What is it? Number 45 he’s going to have to look at? F*cking good.”
“I despise you,” he says with fury in his voice. “I don’t want you back. You have proven yourself to me. You’re not the f*cking woman I want. You’re a f*cking fake. You’re a f*cking sham. You don’t know what the f*ck it means to make a man happy. You didn’t make me f*cking happy. I couldn’t make you happy with the BEST I DID FOR ANYBODY, EVER! EVER,” he yells. “You f*cking glum c*nt!”
Hmmm… I’m surprised ‘glum cunt’ won over filthy-ass ni**a-loving whore cunt. Wait this may be an evidence to present to the court. It sounded like Mel G was on the first stages of sobriety with that last line. That being said, somebody should investigate his roof for Russian ninjas that might be dropping roofie in his drinks.
Because we’ve all been pampered and spoiled with Mel Gibson news weekly, I felt my soul was empty as a can of dry paint when I didn’t get to hear any more of his tapes this week. Well, more food for the soul because there’s more tragic comedy heading our way. Oksana Grigoreieva is now claiming there’s more, and it includes Jew’s blood.
Gibson hired individuals to place this person under surveillance, Oksana told authorities. The anti-Semitic slur was allegedly made by Mel in reference to a high-profile Hollywood figure who is Jewish and who Mel believed had “publicly humiliated” him. Gibson hired individuals to place this person under surveillance, Oksana told authorities.
“Oksana says Mel told her, ‘I want Jew blood on my hands,’ and said he wanted the person taken to the desert, stripped naked, knee capped and left in the heat,” a source close to one of the investigations involving Mel told RadarOnline.com exclusively. Gibson never followed through with his threats.
“Oksana recalled that she was initially skeptical that Mel could have hired someone to follow this person, but she said Mel revealed in great detail what his investigators had observed from the surveillance.”
Everybody should calm the fuck down. There’s no way a Jew version of a second Holocaust would happen any time soon. Seriously, who here hasn’t threatened to kneecap a Jew in the middle of the desert? No? So it’s just Mel and I? Yeeeah…I’m gonna go ahead and agree with what 90% of you are thinking. Holy shit! Satan is Mel Gibson!
If the tapes alone hasn’t convinced you yet that Mel Gibson is fuckin’ insane and finally hit rock bottom, then maybe this will. InTouch Weekly is saying that Mel Gibson apparently has a go-to buddy when his psychiatrist is on another psychiatrist’s couch getting his own head checked and it’s none other than, wait for it, Britney Spears. Yes. THE Britney Spears. Sonofabitch.
InTouch Weekly reports:
You could call them Hollywood’s Odd Couple: Mel Gibson’s unlikely ally in his bitter legal battle with former girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva is troubled pop star Britney Spears! The “Toxic” singer, 28, has been telling pals that Mel, 54, has been pouring his heart out to her — confiding that he fears for his sanity and is convinced he’s destroyed his once-hot career. “Mel has been talking to her a lot,” a friend of the singer’s tells In Touch. “They speak on the phone all the time, usually late at night.”
Britney’s may seem like an unlikely shoulder for the Braveheart star to cry on, but the pop star’s pal says she is simply returning the favor to the actor, who went out of his way to help her when she went through her own breakdown. “Mel was one of the only people who reached out to help Britney when she was at her lowest point, and she believes that demonstrates what a loving and wonderful man he is,” says the friend. “She wants people to give him a second chance — just like he gave her one when everyone else turned away.”
The only rational explanation for this is if Britney Spears’ tits is more comfortable than Mel Gibson’s shrink’s couch. Other than that, I don’t even know what the fuck anymore. This makes me defy everything I’ve believed in life. Do babies come from storks?
In other Mel Gibson BlowmebitchorIsmackyou news, Oksana Grigorevia is recently saying to authorities that the rabid monster attacked her 12-year old son and slammed him into a table. Ofcourse.
It happened at a party last year. Sources connected to the case say Oksana’s 12-year-old son, Alexander was playfully jumping up and down, trying to knock a cigarette out of Mel’s mouth. Oksana claims Mel exploded by grabbing the boy and throwing him violently onto a table.
The issue came up during the mediation in May, when Mel and Oksana were trying to work out a custody arrangement and a financial package. Sources say Oksana’s people informed Mel’s lawyers of the incident. Mel’s lawyers investigated and came right back, claiming there were “numerous adults and children” who saw the incident and saw it very differently.
Mel’s people claim the witnesses will say it was all just clowning around and Mel did not get physical with Alexander but rather the boy just accidentally fell as he was jumping for Mel’s cigarette.
While I think there are no accidents under Mel Gibson’s hands, in his defense though, the kid wasn’t taught by his mom to never come between a man and his cigarette.