Date Posted: July 29, 2010 - 2:31 am by: Paris
Categories: Uncategorized

You think you hate Orlando Bloom now? Well here’s another reason to hate him even more. It wasn’t even more than a month Miranda Kerr’s ass married Orlando B. and now sources are saying that the Victoria’s Secret Supermodel is already knocked up!

Us Weekly says:

“She’s definitely pregnant… Miranda’s thrilled,” says a source close to the Australia native, who wed the actor, 33, at an undisclosed location — reportedly in the Caribbean — less than a month after revealing their engagement on June 21. “She’s telling all her friends, mostly other models, about it.”

While the pal says no official announcement will be made, the couple of three years’ big news will be hard to keep hidden.

“She poses in lingerie,” says the friend of Kerr, who has modeled for Victoria’s Secret since 2007. “It will be obvious soon enough.”

As much as I want to pull out the lucky bastard’s testicles, you got to give the guy credit. He went from being a sissy elf, to a sissy pirate to the fucking king of men who got to impregnate the hottest chick on the planet. Sonofabitch.

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Date Posted: July 26, 2010 - 2:48 am by: Paris
Categories: Miranda Kerr

It’s a slow boring day today and it just makes sense that I post an equally boring post. Miranda Kerr and Orlando MiranBloom has gotten married over the weekend to who the heck cares where and now the two is currently bumping privates on their honeymoon.

People reports:

“David Jones very graciously released me during this period so we could celebrate an intimate ceremony and honeymoon together,” Kerr’s statement says. “I’m very much a part of the David Jones Family and I am very committed to my role. I am enormously grateful to David Jones to have been given this time to enjoy such a special moment in my life.”

Geeze…you’d find more life in an empty milk carton than that announcement. All I can say is fuck you Orlando Bloom! Now everytime I see Miranda Kerr lingerie pics I can’t help but think that you got your filthy elf paws all over her body. Lucky bastard…

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Date Posted: June 22, 2010 - 2:25 am by: Paris
Categories: Miranda Kerr

Bad news to all Miranda fans and any stick figure lovers  out there. Miranda Kerr’s tits are getting married to Orlando Bloom. Boo freakin Hoo.

People reports:

“He’s a sweetheart and that’s all I’m gonna say,” Kerr, who has talked about settling down and starting a family in the future, told PEOPLE in February 2008.

“My ideal situation would be to live on a farm in a solar-powered house with a hammock and a vegetable patch,” she told Page Six Magazine in 2008. “When this is all over, that’s where I’ll be. I’ve always wanted kids, so someday, eventually, yes, it will happen.”

Well congratulations bitches. I’m kinda looking forward to see their wedding and I hope it’s got a Lord of the Rings theme to it. Bloom would go as Legolas ofcourse and Miranda…well she can go as the Ent in a wedding dress.

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