Well fellas, it looks like being forced to watch Dancing with The Stars by your women won’t be too bad after all. Reports say Lindsay Lohan will strutting it in the next DWTS series! It’s gonna be a Lindsay Lohan pussy upskirt fest guys! This is awesome! Via Radar:
Lindsay Lohan is secretly in talks to be a contestant on the hit show Dancing With the Stars, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively. After what seemed like endless legal woes that landed her in jail and now rehab, Lindsay is negotiating for the chance to change her image by appearing one ABC’s mega hit.
Who doesn’t want to see Gingerwhore’s fire crotch, right? But let’s be serious here, I’m not sure she’s cut for it. it takes a lot of hardwork, commitment and punctuality to do the thing, and those three thigns are not even in her vocabulary. If the producers will allow her to just make a cameo and do the banana dance naked, then we’ve got a show!
Remember the Christina Aguilera pics that were leaked earlier this week? Some of you doubted it was her well boo ya motherfuckers, it is her! Not like I really care but arguments like this about almost naked chicks over a beer are what makes the rest of my weekend so listen up! Via Celebslam:
“The photos of Christina Aguilera being leaked to the press were illegally obtained by a hacker who tapped into Christina’s personal stylist’s account. The photos were taken in the privacy of Ms. Aguilera’s home and were used only in a personal exchange between the star and her stylist.”
So wait, she fucked her stylist too?? Dayum. What below-average nobody does she not fuck?
What with all the bad news going on right now, e.g. Miranda Kerr knocked up, Megan Fox getting hitched, it’s nice to know life isn’t so much of a bitch after all. The good news is, Rachel Weisz ass is back in on the market! The brunette bombshell from The Mummy and Constantine just separated after 9 fucking years! Geezus…I can’t even stand seeing the same chick after one night, let alone 9 years. Via TMZ:
“Reps for the former couple tell TMZ, “Rachel Weisz and Darren Aronofsky have been separated for some months. They remain close friends and are committed to raising their son together in NYC.” Sources tell us the couple will seek joint custody of their 4-year-old Henry Chance.”
I’ve always thought Rachel Weisz is one of the hottest things that ever walked Hollywood and I’m sticking by it. So Rachel, baby, if you’re hearing me…let’s give lust love a second chance. Also, I’d prefer you don’t make a mess leaving my mom’s basement in the morning. K thanks.
Okay I have to say when I wished for some Jessica Alba leaked topless pics, I wasn’t expecting said wish would come in this state, since I’m not really a fan of lactating bitches but this is Jessica fucking Alba so I’ll take what I can get.
Apparently, some sources are saying these leaked naked pics were taken when she was in the first trimester of her pregnancy that she sent to husband Cash Warren. Wow, can you imagine waking up to a woman this hot, even with a belly bump? Cash, buddy, I salute you. And by salute, I meant jacking off over your wife.
There are three things to rely on. The sun to shine, that McDonald’s will always have delivery and that Playboy’s charisma is slowly but surely being flushed down the drain. You’d know if you’re in deep shit when you bring past bitches, nevermind if they still look fit enough or not to pose naked, on the recent spreads( i.e. Pamela Anderson), need I say more? Well this time, they offered Kendra Wilkinson to pose naked but bitch denied the offer. You know you’re in trouble when even your past hoes don’t want to do anything with your shit. Well reports are saying the the reason why Kendra Wilkinson naked body won’t be on Playboy is because of her husband Hank. Via E! News:
He didn’t yell at me,” Kendra says. “He wasn’t mad at me for doing that photo shoot. He actually sat down with me and he went over the reasons of doing it. And you know, my reasons weren’t right. I wanted to do Playboy for the wrong reasons. The wrong reasons are to prove people wrong, not to prove it to myself but to people and to put my middle finger up to everybody and be like, ‘I’m going to do Playboy!’ But that wasn’t the right reason, you know?”
Could the reason behind Hank’s decision has something to do with the type of celebwhores Playboy have been courting to spread their legs for the mag? J-Woww, Oksana Grigorieva and Kate Gosselin, to name a few? I mean dude, I get that you’re trying to protect the dignifty of your marrying someone who used to lick on Hugh Heffner’s balls but it’s not like we haven’t seen your wife naked and banging a fugly-ass Albino in the most boring way possible, let alone a still spread on Playboy?!
Start saving those Kim Kardashian naked pictures and bask in them with everything you have because Ass Queen is telling everyone that her pussy peddling days are over! After her nude outtakes in Playboy went out, Kim K is no saying that she’s done with showing us her naked bits because she’s aging. Via Us Magazine:
That spread, she said, may have been her nude swan song. “I don’t know [if I'll pose nude again],” she admitted to Us. “I’m too old for that now…I wanted to get it all out of my system before I turned 30.”
Well this sucks. Maybe someone has to sit her down and show her pictures of Pamela Anderson and tell her there is no age limit for getting down and naked if you’ve got the decent goodies for it. No self-respecting whore would back down just because her flapjacks swayed a little. I’d still hit it. In the words of Kat Williams, let me tell her…“eitherway, we’re fucking!”
With all these sob stories about Hollywood divorces, it’s time to move on to lighter, happier things, such as Jennifer Aniston’s punani. Apparently, a few lucky gardeners had the priviledge to take a peek at her gaping vajayjay when they came in to work earlier than their usual schedule. A naked Jennifer Aniston was doing her daily yoga routine when the gardeners spotted her in a revealing pretzel pose! Via National Enquirer:
“The Switch” star, never dreaming her lawn-keepers might switch their usual noon arrival time, arose bright and early to work her buff bod in the buff, said a source- even opening windows to the morning breeze. But just as she’d twisted her limbs up into one of yoga’s most physically-demanding poses, Jen suddenly spotted workmen staring wide-eyed as they walked past- and emitted a scream so frightening they ran and hid in the bushes.”
When I first heard of this story I lol’ed and then I WTF’ed. How can this be true? If this shit were real and she’s able to do all kinds of pretzel flexes and what not, then bitch wouldn’t be single for so many years now! My widowed grandma gets more peen than her in the nursing home just by doing thumb flexes in her wheel chair. Just sayin’!
After that Courtney Love naked pic incident on Twitter, the troubled rock singer has once again quit the bitch. Well apparently, the Twitter pic she ‘posted’ earlier this week wasn’t for everyone’s eyes(as it should be), she claims it was supposed to be a private message but somehow ended up on her profile. She tweeted:
“I’m off twitter, that photo was meant for a boy friend.”
Well well, who would’ve thought something good could come out of her nasty naked pic? But judging from the level of famewhoring she has, I’m pretty sure the bitch will be back.
Rock of Love Bus star Bret Michaels took a break from licking his fake-tittied whores’ assholes to pose on the cover of BIllboard’s latest issue and despite that it looks like someone just copied and pasted his face on some model’s body, he’s still insisting it’s him, just a result of some light touching or some shit like that. Via E!:
“I said, ‘Listen, I have two requests—good lighting and a warm room. That’s all I’m asking for,’” Michaels tells me. “If I’m walking out with it all f**king hanging out there for the world to see then, well, I need good lighting and a warm room.”
And some sit-ups! “I didn’t eat for a day and I did about 2,000 sit-ups.”
Well apparently this guy clearly knows a thing or two about photoshop. He knows what kind of lighting and tweaks to use to remove his flabs. The Photoshop fuckers was doing an alright job except for his asshole they misplaced as his belly button.
Who wants to see J-Woww naked? Seriously? Dayum. Playboy has just started to sound like a charitable institute all of a sudden. Imagine paying one of those fugly-ass bitches from Jersey Shore $400k to strip and offend people with her naked nalgas and punani? Where has the world gone to? Via Radar:
‘… there is a $400,000 offer from the mag for the Jersey Shore star to pose naked. We’ve also learned that the deal is not final and may face contractual obstacles from the reality TV show.
“Talks have been going on for a long time now and the highest offer she has received is $400,000,” revealed our source.’
Wow, has the magazine turned their taste towards MILFs? ‘Coz this bitch looks like she’s pushing 40 already. If that’s the case, why not let Pamela Anderson do the job instead of this trashy nobody. Then I figured out why. It’s a 2 for a price one package fellas! The gremlin whore Snooki might be in on this deal too. It’s a fuckin’ abomination!