Date Posted: September 30, 2010 - 1:02 am by: Paris
Categories: Jenny McCarthy

Let me stop beating around the ‘bush’ here and straight out tell you guys that Jenny McCarthy has the hairiest vagina in the history of Playboy! ..and here I thought Demi Moore has the wildest jungle bush ever. Jenny queefed out that tiny fact over at Oprah and told the audience what went down, down there. Via The Blemish:

“Jenny said the makeup artist came over to her and explained why everyone was so shocked. “They said they never saw anyone as hairy as you in their entire life!” The audience roared as Oprah laughed along with Jenny.

She said there was a discussion with the Playboy staffers and the photographer figured out what to do: “’I say we just light the heck out of it!’” Jenny recalled the photographer saying.”

Well you heard it first-hand fellas. So a friendly advie: When you’re the lucky chosen bastard who gets to go out with Jenny McCarthy, bring a damn machete along.

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Date Posted: July 28, 2010 - 3:19 am by: Paris
Categories: Oprah Winfrey

Most famous chicks in the entertainment business no matter how prim and classy they look usually have some kind of a past that always involve their vaginas, and Oprah Winfrey’s no exception to that rule because some nosy bitches are farting out that she has a history of prostitution in her teens.

National Enquirer reports:

What OPRAH WINFREY wishes would remain secret forever! Exclusive Enquirer in-depth investigation into the shocking claims the talk show
queen led a secret life as a teen-age prostitute. Desperate to hush up the incredible hooker allegations, Oprah is digging into her billion-dollar fortune to pay off friends and family to keep quiet…Insiders say Oprah, 56, has repeatedly lied about her sexually active teen years and her “hard luck” childhood – and now her flagrant fibs are set to blow up in her face!

“Oprah is reeling at the thought that her dirtiest secrets might soon be acted out night after night on TV,” said a source. “She is marshalling all her influence and vast fortune to prevent any of the allegations from leaking out.” For years Oprah has claimed that while living with her mother in Milwaukee, she got pregnant at age 14 after being sexually abused by a relative. But during our investigation in Milwaukee interviewing sources, The ENQUIRER has uncovered the incredible charges about Oprah’s time there: She took money from much older men for sexual favors, and one of those men could be the father of her child! “Oprah ‘dated’ men – as she called it – but she was actually having sex in exchange for money. She was a prostitute – period,” a family insider told The ENQUIRER. “While her mother Vernita Lee was at work, Oprah brought men home for sex.’

Sooo..looks like there’s actually one publishing company out there that Oprah couldn’t buy. Well fuck you, people over at the National Enquirer! She could be a hooker or even a Russian spy for all I care! It took me years to erase the vision of her naked in Beloved, and now I’m reminded of it again?? Rot in hell.

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Date Posted: March 3, 2010 - 3:13 am by: Paris
Categories: Jessica Simpson

Well, it turns out that it took a while, and quite a long while indeed, for Jessica Simpson to understand what John Mayer meant when he said that Jessica was like a “sexual napalm” to him. Well, after weeks of it being on the news, it was just recently that Jessica cried over the comment. Jessica went on Oprah to talk about it and said, while holding back tears, “I’m not angry… maybe a little bit… I don’t want people to know how I am in bed.

Well, it’s too late now, Jessica. We all know now that you’re a pretty good bedmate. But we wonder, what exactly did you do in the bedroom that got John Mayer addicted?

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