Date Posted: November 23, 2010 - 1:31 am by: Paris
Categories: Malin Akerman

And it has been confirmed! Lindsay Lohan got kicked out of her Linda Lovelace role in the Inferno movie and Malin Ackerman’s ass will be replacing her! While Ms. Firecrotch is denying she’s been fired from the movie, which is practically the only thing going on for her at this point, the movie producers are saying they were the ones who booted her out. Via Radar:

“RadarOnline.com was the first to reveal that Wilder was backing away from his long support of the troubled Lohan to star in his movie. On Wednesday he told us he had a “Plan B” in place. And yesterday, Wilder told us it was a done deal. “We’ve fired Lindsay,” he said, revealing that “we’ve already lined up somebody else who we are really happy with.” Lindsay’s camp is insisting she wasn’t fired, it was her decision to pull out of the film.”

Malin Ackerman is a total upgrade from the cokewhore, there’s no question about that. However, I’m not so sure anyone can pull off a drug-addicted trainwreck whore as much as Lindsay Lohan can.

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Date Posted: October 11, 2010 - 12:53 am by: Paris
Categories: Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton has found her little minion and apparently, she’s already in the works in training her to be just like her when she grows up, in other words, a whore. Which leads me to wonder, where in the world is this poor girl’s mother? I mean what kind of parent would surrender her child to this vapid praying mantis. Via Radar:

“I have a new BFF… and we spend time with Shae, who is seven-years-old, every weekend in Las Vegas. Shae is so smart and we love spending time together,” Paris told RadarOnline.com. “We go shopping, I take her to the pet store and to the arcade. We take her to the Circus Circus amusement park. We do normal things.”

Please. All this little girl will learn from Paris is how to get a DUI or how to make a sextape. Somebody save her!

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Date Posted: September 17, 2010 - 1:39 am by: Paris
Categories: Ashley Greene

Last week, there was a blind item from a site that made us roll our eyes about a young singer and a hottie from Twilight who are just both putting out a facade in public that they’re together–all for the name of publicity. Here goes:

“If you’re thinking that this romance between the singer and the franchise actress is fake, well, you’re right. These two have absolutely no interest in each other other than the increased paparazzi attention celebrity coupledom brings. In reality, she prefers more mature men. Actually, so does he.”

Please, like anyone believes this turd is actually motorboating Ashleey Greene’s tits? Joe Jonas is as queer as a three dollar bill! The closest relationship this one has with Ashley is with her vibrator. Maybe next time Joe, spend some QT with her tweezers too, you need it unibrow!

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Date Posted: September 13, 2010 - 1:54 am by: Paris
Categories: Paris Hilton
Take it from Paris Hilton to show you the right way to hide your drugs and not get caught by airport security. Apparently, Paris is the fuckin’ Houdini now and not as dumb as we thought. I wonder if I can get my gir lfriend to do this shit too but I mean, it might not work out since her snatch isn’t really a big storage room like Paris Hilton’s pussy! According to the new tell-all book by former Girls Gone Wild cameraman Ryan Simkin, ‘Hilton was leaving for Europe,’ and that he brought  her a little Camel cigarette box packed with cocaine and ecstasy.
“I asked if she was flying private, and she said, ‘No, commercial.’ And then as politely as I could, I asked her how she planned on traveling with that amount of blow and X,” Simkin writes in the book. “She held the box in her right hand, and then with an underhand swoop like a lower case J, she demonstrated exactly how she intended to beat airport security. She even whistled as she did it. A little alley-oop with the Camel Box, straight up her snatch. Classic.
So that’s how she got way past those drug-sniffing dogs. No self-respecting  dog would alow itself to have a whiff of this skeletal cokeslut’s mangy rotten punani! Now that Simkin has ratted out her trick, the next time the airport security should search is her asshole, that’s the second largest landfill next to her coochie.
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Date Posted: July 3, 2010 - 2:07 am by: Paris
Categories: Ke$ha

Ever wonder why Kesha always acts like a disgusting pig? Well, coz she actually likes pigs! Well, fat men, in a more formal term.

This is London reports:

Kesha loves fat men. The Blah Blah Blah singer – who is currently single – admits she has a less-than-traditional taste in men and can’t stand the thought of dating someone too well-groomed.
She said: “My ideal man would be funny and fat with a beard. I love fat men. I like real men. I don’t like really feminine men who tan. I don’t understand that. I like a funny man, though. Russell Brand’s not quite my type, but if he had a fat, bearded friend, that would be perfect.”

The outspoken 23-year-old star also admitted her biggest turn off would be to date someone who spends longer in the bathroom than she does.

She told heat magazine: “I could not bear to go out with a guy who takes longer than me to get ready. I don’t want someone who’s going to steal my moisturizer.” Though she has a lengthy list of specifications for a partner, Kesha insists she isn’t ready to settle down just yet. She said: “I’m far from lonely. Far, far from it. But I don’t want to settle down yet. Gross!”

What’s gross is if anyone actually had the stomach to settle with you. If Kesha really wants a fat guy, I think I can hook her up with Fat Bastard though the tub of lard might mistake Kesha’s ass for leftover spareribs.

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Date Posted: May 25, 2010 - 2:42 am by: Paris
Categories: Lady Gaga

If you got the mad dancing skills and this really stupid idea popped in your head that you wanted to be part of Lady Gaga’s dancing crew but you happen to be David Duchovny, then you better quit that dream ‘coz apparently the eccentric troll won’t let that shit roll.

The Daily Star reports:

The Bad Romance singer has banned her dancers from having sex on tour because she wants them to “make love to her on stage”….My tour source told me: “She has made it quite clear to all her dancers they are not allowed to have sex while the tour is still going. She won’t be happy if she finds out any of them have broken the rules and it’s likely they wouldn’t be asked back. “She wants them to give 100% on stage so she doesn’t want them wasting energy on bedtime action. In saucy routines during the show she pretends to have sex with some of the dancers and wants these bits to look as real as possible. She’s a perfectionist and wants every aspect of the tour just right.” My source added: “She’s told her dancers they are married to her so they need to fully commit to the tour in every way she requests.”

For someone who shows so much flesh and panty upskirts, this hoe’s reeking of hypocrisy! I am against this selfish fuckery but when you think about it, Lady Gaga has a point. Trying to control yourself from strangling this troll with her pathetic crazy-ass costumes requires a shitload of energy alone.

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Date Posted: May 24, 2010 - 3:01 am by: Paris
Categories: Lindsay Lohan

If you haven’t had your daily dose of Lindsay Lohan fuckery, then sit back and relax and let me  leave your daily fix on the table for you. Apparently, TMZ obtained a pic of Smeagol’s long lost-sister posing with a couple of bitches, and on the table shows a line of coke waiting for Lindsay to have her way with them. Well guess what, she’s putting out her innocent face on this crap because she’s claiming that she has been set-up. Ofcourse.

Radar reports:

When reached by RadarOnline.com and asked to tell us what the white powder is, Lindsay at first replied: “What!??”
RadarOnline.com directed her to look at the photo and the white powder on the table in front of her.

Lindsay then told RadarOnline.com: “That’s a set up that’s so untrue.”
She is with friends in the photo and named a person who she thinks set her up (RadarOnline.com is withholding the name.) She also said in an email exchange with RadarOnline.com that she didn’t know the powder was on the table.

Yes, yes we all know you’ve been set up, Lindsay, just like you’ve been set up when you forgot to wear your pants in that pic. Here’s another shot of Lindsay loving a different kind of crack…

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Date Posted: May 20, 2010 - 2:19 am by: Paris
Categories: Lindsay Lohan

Just to clear out the rumors that she’s found another lesbian lover and to get payback time after Amanda Seyfried implied in a recent interview that she’s immature, Lindsay Lohan is now following in the steps of Sienna Miller in the homewrecking department.

E!News reports:

“They were having fun, paryting,” an eyewitness tells E! News. “Lindsay was dancing.”

Cooper is in town to hype his new film, Tamara Drewe; Seyfried, meanwhile, is back in the States promoting her new chick flick, Letters to Juliet.
At one point, Cooper was dancing on a couch while Lohan stood on the floor beneath him.

“They were being coy with each other,” the clubgoer says. “Not really touch, but flirty. After Grace’s performance the sat down at the table next to each other and were hanging out.”

If this is actually true, then Amanda Seyfried better quit the boyfriend’s ass because there hasn’t been a disinfectant known to man that can kill the smegma odor of Lindsay’s vajayjay off this tool’s weiner.

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