Date Posted: December 28, 2010 - 12:21 am by: Paris
Categories: Natalie Portman

If you used to jack off to Natalie Portman’s boobies ‘coz the thought of those supple perky breasts turn you on, then mark today as the death of your boner to that image because Natalie is not only engaged but pregnant! It’s an abomination! Via People:

“Natalie Portman and choreographer Benjamin Millepied are engaged and expecting their first child, her reps confirm to PEOPLE exclusively.

The couple met during the production of Black Swan. Portman’s performance in the film has earned her nominations for a Golden Globe and Screen Actors Guild Award.”

On second thoughts, lactating titties aren’t so bad after all. Think about it. So here’s to a start of a new fetish for us fellas! Good things to come!

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Date Posted: December 16, 2010 - 12:55 am by: Paris
Categories: Miley Cyrus

Former childstar Melissa Gibert is weighing in on the Miley Cyrus bong tape and the now grown-up star is saying Miley is nothing but a hillbilly attention whore who’s got daddy issues. Well,not exactly…but that’s what it sounded like! Via PopEater:

“How high do you have to be to let a friend film you? I think she wanted to get caught.” The former star of ‘Little House on the Prairie’ and spokeswoman for The Partnership at DrugFree.org thinks Cyrus is being too reckless after smoking salvia … or whatever it was that got her so loopy that night. “That’s bulls***!” Gilbert said. “I think it was marijuana.”

You know, honestly, I think we’ve already established that Miley Cyrus ass is an attention whore way back when she leaked her own semi-naked pics? Besides, who the heck cares if she did it to get caught. It’s Miley Fuckin’ Cyrus. The bitch can practically do anything and Billy Ray Cyrus would just look the other way.

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Date Posted: December 13, 2010 - 2:04 am by: Paris
Categories: Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus caught in a bong scandal! I know, I’m not even gonna ask why you’re not looking suprised ‘coz this shit is inevitable. What I’m surprised about is that in the video you can find at TMZ, she didn’t strip her clothes off or showed some Miley Cyrus punani. That, I was pretty disappointed about. Via TMZ:

“The video was shot during a party at Miley’s L.A. area home 5 days after her 18th birthday. According to a source connected with Miley … the smoke filling the bong is a natural herb called salvia which has psychedelic qualities. Possession of salvia is legal in California. As for the video … the source tells us it was shot by one of Miley’s friends —  and the theory is someone stole or copied the video from that friend’s camera.”

Salvia? Wow, this hoe couldn’t even be more redneck! Ohh Miley, I see you doing big things in the near future. Mainly marinating your ass behind bars and going to rehabs and flashing your panty-less crotch to the paps. Big things!

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Date Posted: December 13, 2010 - 1:59 am by: Paris
Categories: Taylor Momsen

Taylor Momsen once again outwhored herself in an interview and this time, pulling out the evil role model card by saying she all for masturbation and that she believes young girls should just say fuck it to barbie dolls and say hello to  vibrators and start being a whore in an early age! Via TheBlemish:

“I’m a promoter of masturbation. Don’t sleep around—learn yourself first! Guys do, but girls don’t. And that’s why girls have so many bad experiences. But you can know your body, know yourself, know what feels good. You don’t have to give yourself away just to have sexual relevance. Because I don’t think sex is something people should be afraid of. It’s part of human nature, so I don’t think it should be so shameful—particularly for girls and young girls.”

Whatever. This skank is just another malnourished under-aged attention whore who knows that being vulgar and having verbal diarrhea is the fastest ticket to attention. Dayum..I can just smell Courtney Love from her aura and that’s exactly what she’ll be like twenty years from now–if she hasn’t od’ed by then.

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Date Posted: December 13, 2010 - 1:55 am by: Paris
Categories: Ke$ha

Suprise! There’s Ke$ha Sex pics hidden somewhere in some bastard’s computer waiting to be unleashed! Yep. Our nightmares just might come true! The ultimate nightmare before Christmas! I would rather see The Grinch’s ass than Ke$ha’s pussy…MERCY, NO! Via Celebuzz:

According to the Associated Press, a 17-year-old and 23-year-old are under investigation by German authorities for a year-long hacking spree targeting celebrities. They reportedly sold songs and files, earning more than $13,000 and allegedly tried to blackmail an unnamed female singer with nude photos. There’s no official confirmation on who that celebrity is, but reports claim it’s Ke$ha involved in a sex act.

Cmon, man! How fuckin’ sick can you be leaking  this trashy whale’s naked body, let alone pictures of her fucking? I think we all would  be fine not seeing this fuckery before 2011. Don’t you agree??

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Date Posted: December 10, 2010 - 2:19 am by: Paris
Categories: Uncategorized

Well fellas, it looks like being forced to watch Dancing with The Stars by your women won’t be too bad after all. Reports say Lindsay Lohan will strutting it in the next DWTS series! It’s gonna be a Lindsay Lohan pussy upskirt fest guys! This is awesome! Via Radar:

Lindsay Lohan is secretly in talks to be a contestant on the hit show Dancing With the Stars, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively. After what seemed like endless legal woes that landed her in jail and now rehab, Lindsay is negotiating for the chance to change her image by appearing one ABC’s mega hit.

Who doesn’t want to see Gingerwhore’s fire crotch, right? But let’s be serious here, I’m not sure she’s cut for it. it takes a lot of hardwork, commitment and punctuality to do the thing, and those three thigns are not even in her vocabulary. If the producers will allow her to just make a cameo and do the banana dance naked, then we’ve got a show!

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Date Posted: December 10, 2010 - 2:08 am by: Paris
Categories: Tommy Lee

Now this shit’s funny. A treat I tell ya! Normally I don’t pay attention to these crazy nuisances in Hollywood like Tommy Lee but man, you can’t not love Tommy when he says some bad-ass funny shit to SeaWorld. How can Dane Cook be a comedian and not Tommy Lee? Tommy is way funnier eve if he’s being serious. Two things to say here. Whale and cow punani! Via TMZ:

“We know from SeaWorld’s own director of safety (as well as videos on the web) that the way you get his sperm is by having someone get into the pool and masturbate him with a cow’s vagina filled with hot water.”

“Even in my wildest days with Motley Crue, I never could’ve imagined something so sick and twisted.”

I totally ROFL’d when I read that but fuckin’ aside though, who are you gonna believe? SeaWorld who trains people-killing whales or Tommy Lee who’s been around both a cow’s vagina and a whale getting jacked off ‘coz he seem to bviously know a lot. I mean why would he lie? He’s been with Pamela Anderson, the guy has literally nothing to lose.

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Date Posted: December 9, 2010 - 12:09 am by: Paris
Categories: Katy Perry

Looks like Katy Perry is totally dickmatized by Russel Brand’s dong because on The Ellen DeGeneres Show today she told Ellen that say she is determined to change her last name to brand. Katy Brand? It doesn’t have a jingle on it anymore! Damn you Russel Brand! You already have Katy Perry’s tits, you selfish basterd! Via Us Magazine:

“If I’m at an event or something like that and [someone] want[s] special attention. They go, ‘”Mrs. Brand!’ and I go shwoosh,” the singer said, turning her head to demonstrate. Ellen DeGeneres then asked if she’s making that official. “Yes, I am actually,” Perry said. “I’m in the process.”

Whatever. She’s still gonna be Katy Perry to me. It’s kinda hard to rub one out when she’s Katy Brand in your head. Makes you visualize shagging Katy with Russel Brand watching on the corner of the room. Yep, exactly! Just like that on the pic above! Yeesh.

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Date Posted: December 9, 2010 - 12:01 am by: Paris
Categories: Kim Kardashian

You may have heard about the fuckery about Kanye West impregnated Kim Kardashian, well you’re right about, it’s fuckery. Kim K is telling people that she isn’t knocked up with Gayfish’s baby and didn’t even want to have a relationship with the douche. Via MediaTakeout:

A source very close to Kim tells Hollyscoop the report is “absolutely not true,” adding that the report is simply “ridiculous.” MediaTakeOut reported, “Kim has been seeing Kanye [West] off and on for years now. But this summer, they [hooked up] five or six times.” The insider continued, “Kanye told her that he didn’t want anything serious, but Kim really likes him.”

Well thank goodness this shit didn’t happen or I’d have to take up snorting hash again. Can you imagine what the kid would be like being the child of two of the most egoistic attentionwhores in celebworld? It would be a fetus and they would still stick a camera up there. You know that’s a fact.

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Date Posted: December 8, 2010 - 1:10 am by: Paris
Categories: Kim Kardashian

Now that Gabriel Aubry isn’t tapping Kim Kardashian’s ass, the reality tv star has reportedly moved on to greener pastures, namely NBA player Kris Humpries. It was reported that the two were spotted at Nobu in NYC having dinner and again in Maxwell’s Bar in New Jersey. Via Life&Style:

“Kim likes him much more than Gabriel,” says the insider to Life & Style. “He’s normal, so much fun and cute. He’s perfect for what Kim wants right now, which is some fun dates and some fun times.”

Well it’s official. She’s dickmatized by the black D. She tried to taste vanilla but ended up craving for chocolate. Well now she’s got both, ‘coz this basketball stud is half black and half white. There are more desirable things than dating one of the most handsome men in the modeling history, like uh..I don’t know, an athlete who’s got a hardworking prostate.

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