Date Posted: December 22, 2010 - 10:03 pm by: Paris
Categories: Lindsay Lohan

When Lindsay Lohan isn’t secretly carpet munching someone in rehab, she’s partying and getting secretly drunk and assaulting people. Noooo way??? Lindsay would never do that! And now the popos are sniffing on Lindsay Lohan’s ass trying to solve the mystery of the Lohan assault. Ya know, for formality’s sake. Via TMZ:

“Lohan is a suspect in a criminal battery investigation and the alleged victim — a staff member at Betty Ford — wants Lindsay prosecuted … this according to law enforcement sources. The Palm Desert Police Department is now investigating an altercation that occurred after Lindsay and her roommates reportedly went to a bar and came back home. Upon arriving at the house, the incident with a female staffer from Betty Ford allegedly went down. The police received a call at 1:03 AM on December 12 for “hand-to-hand battery.”

You know what, if I was Lindsay I’d totally milk money out of this publicity. I’d have cameras follow me around and do a reality show. ‘Coz seriously, Firecrotch Lohan creates more drama than any soap opera ever made. She could just be herself being a famewhore  and every day is another dolla!

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Date Posted: December 20, 2010 - 1:06 am by: Paris
Categories: Demi Lovato

Well…well…well…have you heard of this? Some nosy bitches are saying that there’s a Demi Lovato sextape waiting to be unleashed but since it hasn’t crossed our retinas yet, Pornhub is jumpin in on the action and is now offering Demi a heaping sum of money to star in a porn film. They even sound considerate enough to let her choose her own genre. I don’t see why she’d turn down this lucrative and flexible offer. Via TMZ:

“TMZ has obtained a letter from the folks at Pornhub.com, offering Demi chance to be featured on their site. The company is obviously excited (no pun intended) at the idea of a Demi sex tape — even though her people say the rumors are “disgusting.”

Pornhub is offering Demi $100,000 for the tape — even offering her the caveat that, “You don’t have to star with male talent, we are willing to accept a solo or Girl-Girl scene just as long as it’s shot in HD.”

Based on Demi’s history, I think she would fit better in the s&m category, since she has skills in popping a snitch in the face. It’s a good idea to release all that hate and anger inside her into this porn flick. Better than rehab i say!

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Date Posted: December 20, 2010 - 1:01 am by: Paris
Categories: Chloe Sevigny

We all remember Chloe Sevigny’s blowjob scene from the Brown Bunny right? Well apparently, bitch’s head got messed up and hasn’t recovered ever since. In Playboy’s 20 Questions, Chloe told the mad that she thinks she needs to see a shrink for allowing Vincent Gallo to stick his diseased peen in her mouth. Via Gawker:

“What’s happened with that is all very complicated. There are a lot of emotions. I’ll probably have to go to therapy at some point. But I love Vincent. The film is tragic and beautiful, and I’m proud of it and my performance.  I’m sad that people think one way of the movie, but what can you do?”

Goodness…I think we all need to go to therapy for that scene. She must’ve used a cheese grater to clean her tongue with Gallo’s mangy dick. AND, she fuckin’ swallowed. Any bitch who digested that dude’s goop would need therapy.

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Date Posted: December 17, 2010 - 12:23 am by: Paris
Categories: Demi Lovato

Remember that chick who popped a snitch’s face? Yeah, that Disney chick who’s currently marinating her ass in rehab. This Demi Lovato slut just got racey pics of her leaked in Twitter and it shows her in some softcore lesbian shit! Holy Shiznit! These pics are speaking directly to my weiner!

It seems like she’s gotten ahold of The Kim Kardashian handbook to famewhoring and bitch is doing it right! Here’s the rest of Demi Lovato’s tits getting eye fucked and licked by these lesbian chicks. Now I know why Joe Jonas quit her ass.

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Date Posted: December 17, 2010 - 12:17 am by: Paris
Categories: Lindsay Lohan

In other Lindsay Lohan news, who would’ve known Lindsay Lohan’s ass is still stalker-material. Reports are saying she’s getting harassed by a still unknown person, raping her cellphone with his unanswered calls and feeling like he’s Edward and she’s Bella, watching her every step. Via TMZ:

“Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ Lindsay has been receiving harassing phone calls and text messages from unknown numbers — and the unidentified person behind them has been making disparaging statements about her recovery … and her family. Even scarier, the unknown person is saying he/she knows where Lindsay is staying and is watching her.

Okay, can someone check Michael Lohan in the men’s room. I think I heard him in the cubicle with a muffled voice, singing “Every break you take” to someone over the phone. I swear this family is making their own reality show using the paparazzi’s cameras and we don’t even know it. It’s called being practical bitches.

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Date Posted: December 15, 2010 - 1:11 am by: Paris
Categories: Ke$ha

Tik Tok! All it took was a few days after rumors about Ke$ha’s sex pics came out before somebody proved it right! Not that you’re weiners are initially drooling over her but celebrity sex scandal is strangely one of the best turn-ons in life–not counting the Verne Troyer one ofcourse!

Seen here is Ke$ha nibling on the lip of some dude while snuggling in bed, and the other one is her shaved vagina getting some TLC. It’s not bad actually. I’m surprised that despite that she looks like a homeless person who prolly doesn’t even wash her punani, it’s still wanking material for me.

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Date Posted: December 13, 2010 - 2:04 am by: Paris
Categories: Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus caught in a bong scandal! I know, I’m not even gonna ask why you’re not looking suprised ‘coz this shit is inevitable. What I’m surprised about is that in the video you can find at TMZ, she didn’t strip her clothes off or showed some Miley Cyrus punani. That, I was pretty disappointed about. Via TMZ:

“The video was shot during a party at Miley’s L.A. area home 5 days after her 18th birthday. According to a source connected with Miley … the smoke filling the bong is a natural herb called salvia which has psychedelic qualities. Possession of salvia is legal in California. As for the video … the source tells us it was shot by one of Miley’s friends —  and the theory is someone stole or copied the video from that friend’s camera.”

Salvia? Wow, this hoe couldn’t even be more redneck! Ohh Miley, I see you doing big things in the near future. Mainly marinating your ass behind bars and going to rehabs and flashing your panty-less crotch to the paps. Big things!

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Date Posted: December 10, 2010 - 2:19 am by: Paris
Categories: Uncategorized

Well fellas, it looks like being forced to watch Dancing with The Stars by your women won’t be too bad after all. Reports say Lindsay Lohan will strutting it in the next DWTS series! It’s gonna be a Lindsay Lohan pussy upskirt fest guys! This is awesome! Via Radar:

Lindsay Lohan is secretly in talks to be a contestant on the hit show Dancing With the Stars, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively. After what seemed like endless legal woes that landed her in jail and now rehab, Lindsay is negotiating for the chance to change her image by appearing one ABC’s mega hit.

Who doesn’t want to see Gingerwhore’s fire crotch, right? But let’s be serious here, I’m not sure she’s cut for it. it takes a lot of hardwork, commitment and punctuality to do the thing, and those three thigns are not even in her vocabulary. If the producers will allow her to just make a cameo and do the banana dance naked, then we’ve got a show!

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Date Posted: December 9, 2010 - 12:09 am by: Paris
Categories: Katy Perry

Looks like Katy Perry is totally dickmatized by Russel Brand’s dong because on The Ellen DeGeneres Show today she told Ellen that say she is determined to change her last name to brand. Katy Brand? It doesn’t have a jingle on it anymore! Damn you Russel Brand! You already have Katy Perry’s tits, you selfish basterd! Via Us Magazine:

“If I’m at an event or something like that and [someone] want[s] special attention. They go, ‘”Mrs. Brand!’ and I go shwoosh,” the singer said, turning her head to demonstrate. Ellen DeGeneres then asked if she’s making that official. “Yes, I am actually,” Perry said. “I’m in the process.”

Whatever. She’s still gonna be Katy Perry to me. It’s kinda hard to rub one out when she’s Katy Brand in your head. Makes you visualize shagging Katy with Russel Brand watching on the corner of the room. Yep, exactly! Just like that on the pic above! Yeesh.

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Date Posted: November 29, 2010 - 12:30 am by: Paris
Categories: Eva Longoria Parker

Surprise! Tony Parker cheated on Eva Longoria’s ass with 7 other women! Well it looks like basketball isn’t the only sport this douchebage nozzle is playing. Because you got to admit it, cheating is a fun, physical sport—and then you get caught and the fun stops. Apparently, Tony Parker has enrolled himself in the Tiger Woods Academy of Whoremongering ‘coz dude got busted when Eva saw numerous texts and pics of girls naked on his phone, and in the sent items were pics of his junk for those bitches. Yeesh. Via National Enquirer:

Eva found naked photos of Erin Barry on Tony’s phone “Eva found not only sexual text messages, but graphic photos that Tony and Erin had been e-mailing each other,” a source told The Enquirer. “Erin had e-mailed pictures of her breasts and other body parts to Tony, and he’d sent her cell phone shots of his private parts.” The sexting had been going on since at least February, said the source.

He already admitted once that he sticked his peen into some other chick’s poon. that was the cue for Eva to leave his cheating ass. Moral lesson of the story girls, never trust a guy with an accent!

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