Date Posted: November 23, 2010 - 1:31 am by: Paris
Categories: Malin Akerman

And it has been confirmed! Lindsay Lohan got kicked out of her Linda Lovelace role in the Inferno movie and Malin Ackerman’s ass will be replacing her! While Ms. Firecrotch is denying she’s been fired from the movie, which is practically the only thing going on for her at this point, the movie producers are saying they were the ones who booted her out. Via Radar:

“RadarOnline.com was the first to reveal that Wilder was backing away from his long support of the troubled Lohan to star in his movie. On Wednesday he told us he had a “Plan B” in place. And yesterday, Wilder told us it was a done deal. “We’ve fired Lindsay,” he said, revealing that “we’ve already lined up somebody else who we are really happy with.” Lindsay’s camp is insisting she wasn’t fired, it was her decision to pull out of the film.”

Malin Ackerman is a total upgrade from the cokewhore, there’s no question about that. However, I’m not so sure anyone can pull off a drug-addicted trainwreck whore as much as Lindsay Lohan can.

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Date Posted: September 17, 2010 - 1:39 am by: Paris
Categories: Ashley Greene

Last week, there was a blind item from a site that made us roll our eyes about a young singer and a hottie from Twilight who are just both putting out a facade in public that they’re together–all for the name of publicity. Here goes:

“If you’re thinking that this romance between the singer and the franchise actress is fake, well, you’re right. These two have absolutely no interest in each other other than the increased paparazzi attention celebrity coupledom brings. In reality, she prefers more mature men. Actually, so does he.”

Please, like anyone believes this turd is actually motorboating Ashleey Greene’s tits? Joe Jonas is as queer as a three dollar bill! The closest relationship this one has with Ashley is with her vibrator. Maybe next time Joe, spend some QT with her tweezers too, you need it unibrow!

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Date Posted: September 13, 2010 - 1:54 am by: Paris
Categories: Paris Hilton
Take it from Paris Hilton to show you the right way to hide your drugs and not get caught by airport security. Apparently, Paris is the fuckin’ Houdini now and not as dumb as we thought. I wonder if I can get my gir lfriend to do this shit too but I mean, it might not work out since her snatch isn’t really a big storage room like Paris Hilton’s pussy! According to the new tell-all book by former Girls Gone Wild cameraman Ryan Simkin, ‘Hilton was leaving for Europe,’ and that he brought  her a little Camel cigarette box packed with cocaine and ecstasy.
“I asked if she was flying private, and she said, ‘No, commercial.’ And then as politely as I could, I asked her how she planned on traveling with that amount of blow and X,” Simkin writes in the book. “She held the box in her right hand, and then with an underhand swoop like a lower case J, she demonstrated exactly how she intended to beat airport security. She even whistled as she did it. A little alley-oop with the Camel Box, straight up her snatch. Classic.
So that’s how she got way past those drug-sniffing dogs. No self-respecting  dog would alow itself to have a whiff of this skeletal cokeslut’s mangy rotten punani! Now that Simkin has ratted out her trick, the next time the airport security should search is her asshole, that’s the second largest landfill next to her coochie.
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Date Posted: August 3, 2010 - 2:26 am by: Paris
Categories: Lindsay Lohan

Apparently, the producers of the upcoming Linda Lovelace biography-like movie called Inferno aren’t committing a mass suicide after all because recent reports say that a certain chick called Sarah Scott is replacing Lindsay Lohan which means a) we don’t get to see a freckled ginge going full frontal, b) we don’t get to witness said ginge romancing(or deepthroating) a dog and c)we get to keep our sanity. The Fab Life is saying that the filming was scheduled in August but since Lindsay Lohan’s ass is currently marinating itself in rehab for 90 days, the production can’t start shit, thanks to Hoehan’s booze and meth-loving ways.

According to TMZ, a source that knows stuff about Lindsay’s case, says the ginge carpet-muncher is not only addicted to vaginas, she also wuvs her some methamphetamine and opiates. Poor Lindsay thought Inferno was going to be her big break from all this mess. Oh but fear not, Lilo fanatics (I’m talking to the two of you), I doubt that Dina Lohan would take all this rejection lying down with a dildo in her mouth. I’m sure while I’m typing this, she’s plotting Plan 278 after finding out that her daughter was kicked out of a cock-sucking movie. You know that could break a mother’s heart into a million pieces.

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Date Posted: July 3, 2010 - 2:07 am by: Paris
Categories: Ke$ha

Ever wonder why Kesha always acts like a disgusting pig? Well, coz she actually likes pigs! Well, fat men, in a more formal term.

This is London reports:

Kesha loves fat men. The Blah Blah Blah singer – who is currently single – admits she has a less-than-traditional taste in men and can’t stand the thought of dating someone too well-groomed.
She said: “My ideal man would be funny and fat with a beard. I love fat men. I like real men. I don’t like really feminine men who tan. I don’t understand that. I like a funny man, though. Russell Brand’s not quite my type, but if he had a fat, bearded friend, that would be perfect.”

The outspoken 23-year-old star also admitted her biggest turn off would be to date someone who spends longer in the bathroom than she does.

She told heat magazine: “I could not bear to go out with a guy who takes longer than me to get ready. I don’t want someone who’s going to steal my moisturizer.” Though she has a lengthy list of specifications for a partner, Kesha insists she isn’t ready to settle down just yet. She said: “I’m far from lonely. Far, far from it. But I don’t want to settle down yet. Gross!”

What’s gross is if anyone actually had the stomach to settle with you. If Kesha really wants a fat guy, I think I can hook her up with Fat Bastard though the tub of lard might mistake Kesha’s ass for leftover spareribs.

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Date Posted: June 22, 2010 - 2:43 am by: Paris
Categories: Ke$ha

If you happen to be in Kesha’s circle and you pissed the hell outta her, don’t expect that Christmas box from her lying under your Christmas tree  to be a picture frame. In an interview she did in Rolling Stone just recently, she admitted to wrapping up her enemies’ presents to show love not war in the form of dog poo.

Here’s the rest of the interview via OMG Music:

On people who have wronged her: “You know what, sometimes I’ll walk my dogs and full bags of massive dog s**t. Then I’ll wrap them as Christmas presents and give them to people.”

She writes music to get back at people too: “The record is therapy. This b*tch stole my car, so I wrote a song about it called ‘Backstabber’. When I see thousands of people singing along to it I’m like, ‘Jeanie f**k you. You f**ked with the wrong b*tch.”

Kesha’s fashion sense: “If I’m in Los Angeles and I find a pile of clothes lying on the side of the street that someone plans to throw out, I’ll take it. I’m like a pirate on a treasure hunt. I think it’s way more creative. I love used clothes because they have a story to them.”

Fuck Nightmare before Christmas. This cunty white trash is the real deal. They should make a movie based on a Santa who puts dog crap in the stockings of naughty children. They should make her do her own stunt too so we can somehow get rid of this hoe.

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Date Posted: May 20, 2010 - 2:19 am by: Paris
Categories: Lindsay Lohan

Just to clear out the rumors that she’s found another lesbian lover and to get payback time after Amanda Seyfried implied in a recent interview that she’s immature, Lindsay Lohan is now following in the steps of Sienna Miller in the homewrecking department.

E!News reports:

“They were having fun, paryting,” an eyewitness tells E! News. “Lindsay was dancing.”

Cooper is in town to hype his new film, Tamara Drewe; Seyfried, meanwhile, is back in the States promoting her new chick flick, Letters to Juliet.
At one point, Cooper was dancing on a couch while Lohan stood on the floor beneath him.

“They were being coy with each other,” the clubgoer says. “Not really touch, but flirty. After Grace’s performance the sat down at the table next to each other and were hanging out.”

If this is actually true, then Amanda Seyfried better quit the boyfriend’s ass because there hasn’t been a disinfectant known to man that can kill the smegma odor of Lindsay’s vajayjay off this tool’s weiner.

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Date Posted: June 25, 2009 - 12:55 am by: coffeeboy
Categories: Kate Moss

Trust Kate Moss to make the simple of act of getting out of a car into a paparazzi-worthy moment. It still surprises me that she keeps doing these things. With the millions of nipslips, upskirts, and boob-slip pictures that have been taken of her, you’d think she would be more careful next time. But I guess she figures since she’s been photographed buck naked, what’s a panty upskirt or two? So if you’re still interested – here they are.

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Date Posted: June 23, 2009 - 12:12 am by: coffeeboy
Categories: Jennifer Aniston

Jennifer Aniston usually knows how to keep it in her pants. But on the set of her new movie Bounty Hunter (which BTDubs has one of the strangest concepts ever for a RomCom) she had an upskirt moment, but not the kind you would “pleasure yourself” with. See, there’s something up there that shouldn’t be there. I don’t know if it’s a tampon or if she’s smuggling sandwiches – whatever it is, it ruined a perfectly good upskirt. Maybe she knew the paps were gonna be all up in her bidness so she decided to play a trick on them. In which case – BRILL.

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Date Posted: June 8, 2009 - 11:57 pm by: coffeeboy
Categories: Ashley Tisdale

Proving once again that everything has it’s time, Ashley Tisdale avoids an upskirt situation while promoting Italian clothing brand Puerco Espin in Italy. Yes, she has to travel abroad to get commercial endorsement jobs. Anyway, clad in a white mini skirt, she steps up onstage and – ding! – there it is. You can barely see it, but it’s there. Goes to show that short skirt + high stage = no good. For the celeb, good for us.

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